Saturday, March 31, 2012

Dear Friends, Family and Colleagues,

It is with some sadness and much excitement that I tender my resignation, effective immediately. I have enjoyed living and working in New Zealand immensely, but have slowly realized:

1) Summers in Hawke’s Bay are too hot
2) Winters are not cold enough
3) There are just too many people here

With these three points in mind, and a strong desire to work in an underserved area, I have purchased the McMurdo Station Pharmacy. I have big plans for the business, and am hopeful that the favourable climate will allow me to fulfil my life long dream of running a pharmacy/ice cream parlour…the cost savings on refrigeration alone make this venture a no-brainer.

Michael B. Lasko, a Real Southern Man

Friday, March 30, 2012

[Letter to Wells Fargo]

RE Account: xxxxxxxxxx

Dear Sir or Madame,

I have been attempting to resolve this issue over the phone, but the return call I was supposed to be getting from a customer service supervisor has not yet arrived.

Briefly: please credit $58.33 to the above listed account and then close it. The account in question was set up to collect and distribute the assets from my late mother's estate. I suspect that due to the rather large sum of money contained in it at one time, your company changed it to a Portfolio Managed Account...once the money had been disbursed, it began accruing a $30 a month fee.

I would appreciate it if your company would stop calling to ask my deceased mother for $58.33. And my father would probably also appreciate it if you would stop calling him and asking for $58.33, as they have been divorced for over 20 years.

Thank you,

Michael B. Lasko