Sunday, November 13, 2016

Chickens of Maui
There appears to be a disproportionate number of roosters on Maui. This observation is most evident around three in the morning, but a quick walk or drive around any non-touristy area will quickly confirm it. As driving an electric car can be a little dull (unless it's a Tesla), I've come up with a few possible reasons for the disparity during my morning commute. [Note: I know nothing about raising chickens, have little knowledge of chicken biology, and in no way mean to imply that chickens are anything like humans.]

1) The hens are home keeping their eggs warm. Do hens really do this, or is it something they do when they're in a cage and there's nowhere else to sit? Is it even necessary on Maui? From watching them around the hospital, it looks like each hen lays her eggs in like 12 different holes...

2) Somebody is catching the females and keeping them for egg laying purposes. Certainly a possibility, but there are so many free roaming chickens and I know so few people that keep them that I doubt there would be much effect.

3) Hens are being killed at a higher rate in traffic accidents. Every morning I have to slow down or stop to avoid chickens. Almost always, this is the result of a slow moving hen. Roosters will increase their speed or change direction when they see me coming, but hens nearly always continue on their original course. I do not think roosters are smarter than their female counterparts, I believe it is more likely that hens are just more stubborn.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Permanent Vacation

So about a month ago, I injured my knee. On a stand up paddle board. I didn't think you could hurt yourself on a stand up paddle board. I was wrong. Fortunately, aside from some knee pain, the only thing affected has been my ability to run. Although I run a lot (and have to recover by September for a race), I don't really like running very much. To pass the time, I have been doing an excessive amount of stand up paddle boarding. Some of you might think stand up paddle boarding with an injured knee is a bad idea...

Often, while out on the crystal clear water, I wish I were snorkeling instead of paddle boarding.
The camera makes the water look green

Today I brought along a mask and snorkel just in case I had regrets about the morning activity. This just in: snorkeling from a stand up paddle board presents some difficulties. Most notably, many of the reefs are in rocky areas. If you're worried about your board getting slammed into the rocks, you might want to leave it home...or maybe bring an anchor. Almost as important, nearby snorkelers are completely oblivious to their surroundings. If your board is drifting around, it will probably hit somebody. If you anchor your board, someone will still probably find a way to bump into it. Anyway, after about 15 seconds in the water, this Hawaiian Bull Honu charged me. When I take the camera off of him, that's me taking evasive action.

In other news, the North end of Po'olenalena Beach is occasionally a bit of a nude beach. Old naked man who was out snorkeling: There's no need to give me a dirty look just because I'm out on a paddle board where you're swimming. Put some clothes on if my presence bothers you. 

Friday, June 17, 2016

I Hate Everyone

Driving home from Costco yesterday (where I had to buy an unplanned pair of tires), I spot a Ford Mustang convertible on Dairy Road. [Note: all photos in this post are stock file footage. Taking pictures while driving a 17 year old Jeep is crazy.] The Mustang is driven by this old couple...Not unusual, except the back seat is filled with suitcases and two Boogies Boards. First I think: That's a lot of luggage for a couple of old people in a Mustang (I assume there's a trunk). Then I think: Boogie Boards are kind of a strange Costco purchase for a couple of old people; but maybe since they went with the convertible, they're super fun/active old people. Maybe they read about the persistent south swell that's been destroying everyone's hopes for snorkeling the last few days. Or maybe Costco is out of beach chairs...
And then I see it. The silver convertible Mustang driven by old people is being followed by a white convertible mustang, this one driven/occupied by teenagers. The two mustangs are having fun honking and waving at each other.
Are they all cousins with their grand parents? Maybe they're brother and sister and they each got to bring a friend. Are they here on an annual trip with the grandparents? I don't care. I hate everybody in Hawaii under the age of 25.
Memories of family trips from my childhood: 1) The time we drove to Death Valley to collect minerals (rocks). 2) The time we drove to Northern California to look for minerals (gold).
The actual driver/passenger were much older than this.
Yeah, you can still buy Boogie Boards.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Friends, Family, and Coworkers

It is with mellow joy that I tender my resignation, effective immediately. I have enjoyed my short time here at Maui Memorial Medical Center, but have found working in an American Hospital (even if it is on Maui) to be entirely too stressful. Fortunately, I have been offered a job managing Woody Harrelson’s All Natural Pharmacy and Dispensary. Please come and visit us for all your Medical needs*.

*Hours are 10AM to 2PM weekdays (weather permitting).

Note: Woody Harrelson’s All Natural Pharmacy and Dispensary will be closed on the following holidays**:

New Year's Day, Lee-Jackson Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday, Confederate Heroes Day, Rosa Parks Day, Lincoln's Birthday, President's Day, Washington's Birthday, Texas Independence Day, Mardi Gras Day, Town Meeting Day, Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day, Seward's Day, César Chávez Day, DC Emancipation Day, Good Friday, Patriots' Day, San Jacinto Day, Arbor Day, Confederate Memorial Day, Primary Election Day, Truman Day, Confederate Memorial Day, Memorial Day, Jefferson Davis Day, King Kamehameha Day, Emancipation Day / Juneteenth, West Virginia Day, Independence Day, Pioneer Day, Victory Day, Bennington Battle Day, Statehood Day, Lyndon B. Johnson Day, Labor Day, Native American Day, Columbus Day, Alaska Day, Nevada Day, General Election Day, Return Day, Veterans' Day, Thanksgiving Day, Thanksgiving Friday, American Indian Heritage Day, Family Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve

**Where a holiday falls on a weekend, Woody Harrelson’s All Natural Pharmacy and Dispensary will be closed on both the preceding Friday and the following Monday.

Thursday, March 03, 2016

Things not to do on a cold day

To clarify: Cold in Hawaii is anything under 80 degrees.

I bought a Jeep, because Maui seems like the perfect place to own a convertible and there are not very many convertibles that fit four people...and I really thought yet another PT Cruiser would be a bad idea. Unfortunately, Maui is not the perfect place to own a convertible. It is too sunny nearly all the time. Fortunately, driving a Jeep with the doors and windows off (and a roof over your head) is a nearly perfect experience. I didn't really understand why someone might spend $20,000 making their Jeep into a better offroad vehicle. Maybe I still don't understand the $20,000, but after four miles (in each direction) on a light 4WD trail, I kind of get the appeal.

Had we moved here from California, I probably would not have been that interested in driving an hour up hill to see a Redwood Forest. But coming from New Zealand (where Redwoods were planted 100 years ago in hopes of logging them), it seemed like a fun road trip.

Anyway, if your children are cold at sea level, I would highly recommend making them wear long pants and coats if you're going to take them to 6000 feet.


The challenges experienced when trying to photograph a turtle underwater are plentiful. In addition to needing cooperative turtles, clear water, sun, and a water proof camera are required. Additionally, you must be a proficient enough photographer to be able to operate said water proof camera without using the touch screen (or really being able to see anything you are doing).

I bought my second digital camera well over 10 years ago because it was 1) really small and easy to carry around while tandeming in exotic locations and 2) because I thought I would be coming to Hawaii more often and a waterproof case was available as an option (albeit at a cost higher than for the camera). As it turns out, we did very little snorkeling in the last 10 years, and by the time we moved here the camera/case didn't seem to work very well. Enter digital camera number 4. As I alluded to above, it is very difficult to use underwater--mostly because most small point and shoots no longer have view finders.

But enough boring stuff. Please enjoy a couple of pictures (and a short video) of some mostly friendly sea turtles. If you turn up the sound on the video, you can hear some humpback whales singing off in the distance.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Windiest Day Ever
We have been meaning to take the kids whale watching since our failed attempt in Kaikoura just about a year ago. Since it has been pretty hard to not see whales from shore for the last few months, I naturally assumed seeing them from a boat would be even better. Unfortunately, Nico chose to make a reservation during a small craft advisory. I should take the opportunity to point out that just because a business (even if it's a non-profit) that makes its money by taking people out on the water says it is safe to go out on the water does not mean it is a good idea to do so. Zooey was seasick (or perhaps just regular sick) before we even left the dock. Jancie waited a few minutes to start complaining. Fortunately (I guess) they both fell asleep and missed most of the really rough parts.
Rainbows, on the other hand, are always difficult to photograph.

On a flat day, whales are pretty easy to see. On an exceptionally windy day, they are not so easy. 1) White caps look a lot like whale spouts when they are both being blown around and 2) The waves tend to hide any whales that might be coming up for air. On a flat day, photographing whales is pretty easy (or at least I think it must be). On a windy day 1) Holding a telephoto lens steady is difficult 2) Salt water keeps spraying your lens if you face in the wrong direction.

Windmills and a rainbow.

I shot well over 300 pictures. Most of them just look like waves unless you really zoom in, and then they look like blurry rocks mostly underwater. I hope to try again sometime when things are a little more level.

Tail sequence

A few others

Friday, February 05, 2016


Some of you may remember 12+ years ago I started this blog with a promise to update it more often than once every 6 months. Or something like was so long ago I don't really remember. Sadly, it has now been over 6 months since I last posted anything. What can I say? I've been busy, nothing exciting has been happening, and I've been trying too hard to write the perfect post. Actually, I think Facebook is the real culprit. All the drivel that I used to write here so it could be read by 6 people can more easily be put on Facebook where 400 of my closest friends are instantly bombarded. Anyway, I've just spent $20 renewing, so perhaps that will inspire me a little. Also, I believe I have finally figured out how to post pictures from my phone. Here are Nico and I with the Jeep (and sleeping children) at La Perouse Bay.