Much to report.

1) My haiku has paid off. I am the brand new recipient of a Plantronics Freehand Headset. I have to lock this baby up at night. Why didn't I ask for a new car?

2) I beat T-Mobile. Aside from the fact that the phone never seemed to work anywhere that I happened to be, I had no real complaints against the company...until we tried to get out. I bought a couple of phones online from AT&T, and they ended up porting our numbers 6 days early. T-Mobile hit me with a $400 early termination fee. It only took 2 phone calls, much waiting, and no yelling to get these charges removed. Anyway, more proof that you should never buy a phone just because Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot. That link might not go to a real website. I'm afraid to click it at work. My apologies if it's porn, or something.

3) I'm now worth $50 million. That's right, I've adopted a beach. It's a nice little place in the numbered streets. If anybody would like to help clean it...