Valentine's Day Advice
--Given to my (male) coworkers after one of them reported he could not make the Wednesday (2/13) Poker Game (because he has to make Valentine's Days plans):
I realize some of you have not been married as long as me, so I shall impart a little wisdom:
1) You need not purchase roses ahead of time. Many of your female colleagues will be receiving flowers at work. Some will be unhappy with their flowers, and will be begging for you to remove them from their desks...also, nobody is going to miss one or two roses. Just take one from each lady, and you'll have an exceptionally nice bouquet.
2) If you must take your wife/girlfriend somewhere expensive to impress her on Valentine's Day, you are likely setting the bar too high the rest of the year. Fortunately, it is not too late to fix things for this Thursday: Just make sure the missus does not eat anything until Valentine's Day...she'll be hungry enough to eat at Arby's.
3) Get an ecard. Nothing says "I love you" like a Valentine's day ecard...especially if it's one of those talking Valentine's day ecards that says: "I love you".