Preliminary ratings for the 80th annual Academy Awards telecast were 14 percent lower than the least-watched ceremony ever, according to Nielsen Media Research.

I boycotted the Oscars this year. Apparently, I was not alone. To be fair, I never watch the Oscars, but this year I actively prevented Nico from watching them either.

At no charge, I am going to give you network executives a little advice:

Jon Stewart is funny for exactly 24 minutes (sometimes less, but never more). There is no possible way anybody can be expected to sit through four hours of Jon Stewart. Do not offer him a late night talk show, unless you plan on shortening it to a half hour. On the same note, Stephen Colbert is only funny for 5 minutes at a time....subjecting me to 30 minutes of Stephen Colbert is torturous.