Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Global warming and the perils of sleeping at sea level...

Saw a preview of Al Gore's movie last night...actually, are they still called previews after the movie has been released? Maybe trailer is more correct.

Anyway, Gore says sea level will be rising by 20 feet...just as soon as those polar ice caps melt. "20 feet? That will make us ocean front," says I. "We'll be under water," says Nicole. I think Nicole is wrong, but then I got to thinking: we just got rid of the loft bed...we now have 8 fewer feet to protect us from the cold Pacific Ocean.

An English teacher read my ad in the Recycler, and liked my description so much that he had to buy the thing. I believe he asked me if I am a writer. Obviously, he is not a takealotofdrugs reader.

LOFT BED QUEEN SIZE SF LOFT BED COMPANY We bought this mattress from the San Francisco Loft Bed Company 5 years ago. Evidently the dot com bust put them out of business...Which means that you can only buy the world's best loft bed used. Originally unfinished pine, my wife and I spent countless hours staining the bed to a dark Bombay Mahogany. The bed comes with a matching shelf (used as a night table). We also stained a pair of Ikea dressers to match (make an offer, if you want them).

The bed is far sturdier than anything you can find elsewhere. It is free standing, but can be mounted to a stud for even more stability.

The mattress (not included) sits on a flat platform (no slats like on an Ikea model), so your mattress choices are limitless. We are currently using a Tempurpedic, though most people just go with a futon mattress.

I had the bed made extra high, so that I can stand under it (I am 5'10"+), but it can be lowered to fit in a room with standard ceilings.

(Re)Assembly is simple. Instructions are included. All you need are a 5/16" wrench (ratchet preferred) and an extra set of hands

So now we're sleeping on the floor...with only a $2000 mattress to protect us from those melting polar ice caps. Read about the search for a new bed over on Nico's blog.

Wow, I'm sounding like some pro-global warming wacko, no? I am not. I want gasoline to be so expensive that everybody starts driving around in blowcarts. I will teach Blowcart Drivers' Ed. Yes, I aware that my views on the environment conflict with the platform of my Libertarian Party. I am also an advocate for meat inspectors...


Tana said...

I find the idea of limitless mattress choices so appealing that I almost want to track down that English teacher and offer him double what he paid for it.

Maybe you should be in marketing.

Jessica K. said...

There was a time I believed only college students used loft beds...approximately 3 mins ago, I was proved wrong.

Michael Lasko said...

Listen Miss "Help me carry this dresser I bought on Craig's List up the stairs", I thought only college students bought used furniture.

Jessica K. said...

That statement would be stronger if you actually DID help me carry the dresser I bought on Craigslist up the stairs.