Letter to coworkers:

Dear Friends, Family and Colleagues,

It is with great sadness that I tender my resignation, effective immediately. I will miss all the strange and wonderful peole I have met in this strange and wonderful land. However, a business opportunity on Kiritimati has presented itself, and I am unable to pass it up. Also, when we moved to Hawke's Bay, I had been expecting an exotic island lifestyle...but New Zealand is just too big; one can only tell he/she is on an island from an aeroplane...and the only exotic thing we have encounered has been beetroot burgers.

Wind in your sails,

Michael B. Lasko