Still recovering from the last marathon (Dr. Foot says I have a neuroma), I had resigned myself to not doing anymore distance running. And then here I am at work...working along and I get this email delivered to my Inbox:

PacifiCare is excited to announce its sponsorship of the first annual OC Marathon, taking place Sunday, December 5, 2004.

The 26.2 mile course is tentatively scheduled to begin at Fashion Island in Newport Beach, with the scenic route continuing through Irvine to the Spectrum and finishing at the Newport Dunes via the Back Bay. The course will provide a fast-paced tour of Orange County, showcasing both its history and beautiful scenery...

Seeing as how my boss is telling me to run, if I further injure my foot, is it a work injury? Anyway, I have it penciled in...anybody want to run with me? It's just like the Huntington Beach Marathon, only you don't have to worry about being mugged...oh, except for that part in Irvine.

This year's resignation letter (Sent to my boss and co-workers via email):

It is with great pleasure that I tender my resignation, effective immediately. I will soon be fulfilling my lifelong dream of opening a floating ice cream parlor/soda fountain on Newport Harbor. (Something similar to Forbes Island in San Francisco). If funding allows, I also plan on including a small pharmacy in the back. If any of you are interested, I will be needing a few good employees on both the ice cream and pharmacy ends.

Hey, did anybody catch my street on the OC tonight? Line of the week (also the line most likely to tick off the Anti-Defamation League) belonged to Summer: "I can out Jew you."

Long time no see.

I spent yesterday volunteering my sailing skills to Access To Sailing. (If you don't feel like clicking the link, it's a non-profit that provides sailing opportunities to the disabled). For some reason, I get a strange vibe from them whenever there are no disabled persons around. For instance, their flagship ship is named "Zij Naplno" (Czech for "Live to the fullest") and the two directors have young Czech girlfriends. Were they dontated along with the boat? One of them seems to live onboard...at the prime 60' Shoreline Village dock provided free by the City of Long Beach. Altruism is dead.

Still recovering from last month's marathon, I finally went to see my doctor today Re: a broken bone in my foot. My doctor dislikes me strongly, and made me sit through this story about the very first marathoner before providing any treatment:

The modern Athens Marathon commemorates the run of the soldier Pheidippides from a battlefield at the site of the town of Marathon, Greece, to Athens in 490 B.C., bringing news of a Greek victory over the Persians. Legend has it that Pheidippides delivered the momentous message "Niki!" ("victory"), then collapsed and died, thereby setting a precedent for dramatic conclusions to the marathon.

As I figured, the x-rays were negative, although he thinks I have a small break that was not visible. No running for 6 weeks.

Well this whole Quizno's thing was certainly fun. My Blog went from 3 readers per day to over 100. I am a little surprised at how few people made it over to my webpage. How can anybody resist reading a page called takealotofdrugs.com? Sure it's not very interesting...but I pay $8 a year for that name. Some traffic would be nice.

In recent news: I made an unsuccessful run for both President of the United States and California State Assembly (68th district) on the Libertarian ticket. I think if Nico had written me in for State Assembly, I would have won the nomination. Maybe if I campaign a little harder next time...

I realize I said I was not going to write about the Sponge Monkey...so I won't. Evidently, I had another typo: They are really called Spong Monkeys (or maybe it's one work: Spongmonkeys). I guess it's supposed to rhyme with pong. I have no idea what that means. But anyway, I've had a few requests to make my guitar tab a little clearer. Feel free to email me with any corrections. If you like my tab, please donate to the boat fund>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

E.......A ......B................E
..............We love the subs
E.......A.......B................E
..............Subs are a dollar off
E.......A.......B................C#
When you bring in coupon
C#.............B...............C#
..........................For things to eat or oil changes
B
or pony rides or for hairplugs
E........A......B................E
................Any coupon works
E........A.......B...............C#
Beware of paper cuts
C#.......B.......................E
The Quizno Subs
E A B E


I play the chords like this
E A B C#
-- -- -- --
-- -- -- --
-- -- -- --
0--5--7-9
2--7--9-11
2--7--9-11


Hopefully, this will be my last Spong Monkey entry. Here is a neat marketing lesson: Also, believe it or not, there is some classic marketing strategy going on here. As others have pointed out, this spot—unlike shock-spots with, say, flatulent horses—actually centers on product attributes. We're told that Quiznos subs are tasty, crunchy, warm, and toasted. We're introduced to the concept of the pepper bar, which one imagines is a bar stocked with a menagerie of peppers. (Not really my thing, but still, a selling point of sorts.)

All Sponge Monkeys, all the time.

After days and days of research (hey, it's been raining here) I have figured out what those Quiznos guys are: tarsiers!


Nico has moved past the "What the hell was that phase, and found me a new Quiznos ad. Okay, this topic has run a little long. Next time I'll write about something else. Oooh, we're going tandeming. Irvine? I hope nobody steals our rims.

Quiznos Monkeys revisited.

So I've been working on the guitar chords for the Quiznos commericals [Yes, I am aware that I spelled commercials wrong, but that typo is brining me all my Google traffic, so I can't change it now]. (As an aside, does anybody know if it's Quiznos or Quizno's? Looks like I have been typing both). Anyway, Quiznos people: please don't sue me. I would be more than happy to perform this in a commercial. I can sing almost as well as the Sponge Monkeys, and I'm just as funny looking. So here's the guitar tab (3 low strings only; I hope this lines up right):

2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|
2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|
0-0-0-0-0-5|5-7-7|0-0-0-0-0-5|5-7-7|0-0-0-0-0-5|5-7-7|

11-11-11-11-11-11-11-9|9-9-9-9-9-9-9|11-11-11-11-11-11-11-9|
11-11-11-11-11-11-11-9|9-9-9-9-9-9-9|11-11-11-11-11-11-11-9|
-9--9---9--9--9---9--9--7|7-7-7-7-7-7-7|-9--9--9--9---9--9--9--7|

9-9-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|11-11-11-11-11-11-11-9|
9-9-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|11-11-11-11-11-11-11-9|
7-7-7-7|0-0-0-0-0-5|5-7-7|0-0-0-0-0-5|5-7-7|-9--9--9---9--9---9--9--7|

9-9-9-9-9-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2
9-9-9-9-9-9-9|2-2-2-2-2-7|7-9-9|2
7-7-7-7-7-7-7|0-0-0-0-0-5|5-7-7|0


I'm having trouble fitting the words in. I don't think it matters much where you sing them. Loud and high pitched is the important part. What better way to annoy the Mrs?

Those singing Quizno's monkeys.

I think the Quiznos press release sums it up better than I can: The new creative campaign is completely unexpected…even for Quiznos. “The first time you see the advertisement, you might ask yourself, “What exactly was that?” Our intent was to grab the consumers’ attention. By the second time you see it, we guarantee you’ll be singing along,” said Quiznos Chief Marketing Officer, Trey Hall.

Nico, who thinks they're mice, or something, is still in the "What the hell was that?" phase. I however, have moved on to singing along...I tried searching for the guitar chords, but instead found this cool pre-Quiznos thing.