The Sage from South Central...

I made it 34 years living in the celebrity capital of the world, without having my picture taken with a celebrity. This blog has ruined me...first Greg Lemond, now Larry Elder. Anyway, hey everybody look at Larry Elder, Nicole, and me. As I told Larry yesterday, he is the person most credited with turning me into a libertarian (Ayn Rand and the IRS also played a part).


The Bob Robert's Society Band came pretty close to my goal of raising $1000 for the American Diabetes Association. If you would like to contribute, you still have another 2 weeks. Go ahead and donate on Nicole's page; she'll get a jersey if she makes it to $500.

Here we are at the finish line. I think I am not really that sweaty. I have been trying out this new sunscreen...it's kind of shiny.


65 miles in just over 5 hours...the 5 hours included stopping at every rest stop (for the worst tasting sports drink in the world), changing a flat tire, and helping a fellow cyclist patch a tire. I reckon cycling 65 miles would be much easier if we didn't take 12 months off between cycling adventures. Back to that flat tire...I am sick of flat tires. Actually, we rarely get flat tires, but my Continental Grand Prix 3000s are wearing out, so I am thinking of putting Armadillos on the tandem. Only problem (aside from slowing us down), the profiles on the Armadillos are a little too high to fit in the case. Does anybody have a good recommendation for a traveling tire? I am sick of replacing the Continentals every thousand miles.

In other news: Guitar class is coming to an end. I have to play a song for the final. Anybody able to ID this song? I'll give you a hint: It is thought to be the first song written about El Niño.

I'm number 1!!!

I did not read the race instructions. No worries.

I assumed the race committee would be using 5 minute starts (instead of the 3 minute starts clearly stated in the race instructions. No worries.

Setting my watch for 5 minute countdowns instead of 3 resulted in a rather late start. No worries. (At least my non-waterproof sailing watch had dried out from windsurfing, and was again functioning).

My boat did not have a sail number (which is supposed to result in disqualification. No worries. (The race committee accepted the blue piece of paper [with a black "1" on it] that we held up as we crossed the start and finish lines).

Okay, I confess: None of the other Shields showed up for the first Beercans. Fortunately, there was one Harbor 20. Sure, a Harbor 20 is a much slower boat, but this boat was captained by mi amigo Lee, world champion Harbor 20 racer.

Speaking of Beercans, I'm breaking in some new crew for summer racing. It seems everybody I know has been invited to race on much larger boats. Hey, 30 feet is more than long enough.

So I scoured my old (beginning sailing) class lists and came up with Sevin and Devrim. They both scored very low on the irritating scale and high on the sailing potential scale. Who could be better to sail with, and isn't that Mickey Mantle's number? They are both computer people, so maybe they have blogs somewhere.

I probably have room for one more person, if anybody else wants to race. Prerequisites: 1)You must be non-irritating.
2)You must have at least a little sailing experience.
Job duties: 1) Alert me to anything I am about to crash into.
2)Immediately after the start of every race, turn to the captain and say: "That was a great start, Michael".

I should be doping...

Getting ready for the start of Beercans on Thursday, I thought it might be a good idea to review the racing rules. Racing rules are boring. But do you know what isn't? Doping. Here is the International Sailing Federation's anti-doping code. Of interest, the International Sailing Federation uses the World Anti-Doping Agency's list of banned substances. I am going to assume that cycling and running use the same list. I am not sure if a single list benefits me or not. Probably not, I could end up getting banned from three sports if I decide I want to be taller. Speaking of human growth hormone, does anybody think Sylvester Stallone's head looks bigger?

So anyway, can somebody please read that WADA list and tell me if sailing has banned alcohol? Balboa Yacht Club: If you name your Thursday night races "Beercans", you are just begging us participants to drink.

Please donate to the elective surgery fund.

I finally broke down and scheduled my Lasik procedure. I have approximately four weeks to come up with $4500.

Unfortunately, my Lasik surgeon is also a plastic surgeon...I'm not sure where he finds the time while still managing to perform 15,000 Lasik procedures. After I have perfect vision, he says I will be wanting him to smooth out my skin...I suppose I should have been insulted. We did not discuss how much this procedure would cost.

So I'm at the dentist yesterday, and while I'm telling my dentist (an avid cyclist) about the time I met Greg Lemond, I get to thinking: Greg Lemond has much whiter teeth than me. Worse, my teeth are going to look extra off-white when I have perfect vision. Not to worry, white teeth can me mine for a mere $500. I have the world's most expensive dentist.

If your doctor ever tells you that you only have a year to live, spend it in Gerber.

(Alternative title was: "We are not drinking pinot..."

Drove up the state for a wedding in Red Bluff over the weekend. Red Bluff is a much better place to spend a weekend than is Gerber. I would post pictures of downtown Gerber, but they are too depressing. There's a post office (your tax dollars at work), a tiny market, a pizza place, and a bar...actually the bar and pizza place might be the same place, my memory is a little fuzzy. Fortunately, I was able to minimize my Gerber exposure to around two hours; that was more than enough time. Here's a picture of one of the Red Bluff pharmacies, followed by a picture of the view from our room at the house of Nicole's aunt and uncle (in Red Bluff). If you are thinking that Nicole's aunt and uncle do not have enough horses, I believe the others like to spend their mornings on the opposite side of the house.



But enough about Red Bluff...if you want wedding information, perhaps something will appear on Nicole's blog. (Nico, your blog will be considered dead within the next 48 hours, and your permanent link will be removed.)

We stopped in Santa Barbara Wine Country on the way back. Those of you keeping score at home might remember that we were supposed to be riding the Napa Tour de Cure last weekend...but something about a 100 mile bike ride when neither of us had been on a bicycle in 6 months seemed like a bad idea. But I digress. I was a little leery of the trip to the Santa Ynez Valley, as we had not been up there since before Sideways. I have few photos of this part of trip, as we were trying not to look like Sideways tourists...of which there were plenty. In retrospect, we actually were Sideways tourists. We ate at the Hitching Post II (which used to be a quiet restaurant, but was now so crowded that a dozen people were having dinner at the bar), and we elected to do Sideways bicycling tour #1. Sideways bicycling tour #2 is probably a better ride, but we had done most of that ride 5 years ago...and it looked much, much steeper.

Wineries we stopped at on the 50 mile bike ride:
1) Lafonde: The pinots were okay, the Lafond Vineyard Syrah was exquisite.
2) Sanford: Eh...I was not able to smell:
...a little citrus... maybe some
strawberry... passion fruit... and
there's even a hint of like
asparagus... or like a nutty Edam
cheese.

Apparently, I have only one picture from Solvang. It's Nicole, in front of one of those Thomas Kinkade paintings that she likes so much.

Addiction to over-the-counter drugs is a serious, "often forgotten" problem, doctors warn in today's British Medical Journal...Although codeine phosphate is only available on prescription, it has been available over the counter in combination with aspirin, paracetamol or ibuprofen for many years.

Advice for my British colleagues:

Stop selling codeine (or rather, codeine containing products) without a prescription. I guarantee an immediate decrease in the number of people addicted to over the counter painkillers. Please...codeine addiction is just embarrassing. Let your people find something worthwhile to abuse.

Sure I should be working...

I was thinking of getting an alligator. I had thought that an alligator would make a great pet. Don Johnson had an alligator.


Sadly, my extensive research on the subject has informed me that alligators do not make good pets.

Whoa! Keeping an alligator as a pet is a very bad idea, my friend.

How to lose 5 pounds in 5 days.

1) Cut intake of delicious rum containing drinks, with names like Jamaican Delight and Dirty Banana, (from seven to twelve a day) to zero.

2) Stop eating that extra meal between breakfast #1 and lunch (I call this meal "breakfast #2).

3) Stop having that afternoon snack of jerk chicken or fillet mignon. Just because it's there does not mean you have to eat it.

I think I will call my diet the "Jamaican-free diet". I am certain that this revolutionary new diet will increase traffic to my blog. Prospective dieters: I guarantee that if you just gained 7 pounds at an all inclusive Caribbean resort, you can lose 5 pounds with my new diet. You could end up spending thousands of dollars on exercise equipment and diet pills...how about a donation to the boat fund?

I know I'll feel safer walking around Costa Mesa this morning.

(Alternative title was: It's always 5 o'clock somwhere...but I think I just used that one somewhere).

Costa Mesa police have scheduled a driver's license/ DUI checkpoint from 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. today. Police will be checking vehicles heading westbound on Victoria Street just west of Harbor Boulevard, police said.

More than 1,000 drivers in 2006 were removed from highways in Costa Mesa for suspicion of driving under the influence, police said.

Funding for the program is provided by a grant from the California Office of Traffic Safety, through the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

— Kelly Strodl

Note to drunk drivers: Do not leave the bar until after 12:30 PM today.