I hear some of you are sick of looking at my foot.

Well, I don't care. I am totally getting a pair of these. Maybe many pairs.

I really am number 1!!!!!!!!!!!

I better mirror that link, just in case I never win another race.

I had a whole bunch more to type, but I lost interest during the last 12 minutes while I listened to a man call me sir...then ask if I was a man or a woman...then proceed to call me ma'am...then tell me about how next week he will be ordering his Lipitor. I am never going to have those 12 minutes back.

The complications of LASIK.

Made it through an entire week of showering with my eyes closed without dropping a can of shaving cream on my foot. I was not so fortunate on day 8. This picture of my well cleaned foot was taken after the bleeding had stopped. I am very happy to still have my little toe. Nico has terrible bedside manner, and nearly made me faint.


Still not cleared for sailing, tandeming, or running, so I let Nico drag me to do some very Nicole-esque things. I know the Getty is Nicole-esque because those goddamn purple dressed women in their goddamn red hats were there. Actually, they seem to follow me everywhere. I'm not sure how they know how to find me.


Here are some soothing pictures I took of the gardens at the Getty:





Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair.

Number of people left in the world calling me Doogie: 1

Actually, I never saw the resemblance...


To the real Doogie Howser: Happy Birthday.

I tell the same joke many different ways, but you never seem to get it...

While I try to remember the exact moment when everybody at my work turned into my sister.

Things you can do when you're not allowed to do anything you like to do.

1) Take pictures of things you like to do:


I believe this is day 2 of the First Team Invitational Regatta, as viewed from the Newport Beach Pier. I almost took a good picture. Now that I have such perfect vision, I have been thinking of buying a better camera. When I was at UCI, the guy I shared and office with (AKA: the Laziest Man in the World) bought a Leica M...I'm not sure how a resident (making 30K a year) affords a $5,000 camera; he actually ended up returning the thing and using the money to pay for LASIK...go figure.

2) Photograph some wildlife: Here is the last photo I took with the old eyes. It's from the new tram at the Wild Animal Park. I am not sure if the new tram is better or worse than the old tram...it certainly gets you closer to the animals (as evidenced by these giraffes that I could practically reach out and touch), but the elevation is so low, the view is frequently obstructed by fences, hills, and shrubs.


3) Go sailing on a fake boat. Screw you Dr. Brenner. (FYI: That "screw you" was clearly in jest. I have only nice things to say about Dr. Brenner. If you would like to read about ophthalmologists that I dislike, try clicking this link...and maybe this link). Here's me steering the Columbia. In my new Nautica jacket, I look quite the sailor.

I am living comfort eagle.

Okay, I don't quite have eagle vision, but I am 20/20 in my right eye (up from 20/200) and getting pretty close to 20/20 in my left eye (up from something worse than 20/200).

Notes for anybody considering LASIK:

1) LASIK is a little unpleasant.
2) 5 mg diazepam is not enough diazepam to make the procedure enjoyable.
3) If you are really jumpy (like the guy in the room next to me), you will get 30 mg diazepam.
4) The wonders of modern science do not allow you to stay in one bed while they move various lasers to you...instead, you must walk from one laser to the next (I suppose that might be difficult if you have taken 30 mg diazepam).

No sailing, bicycling, or running says Dr. Brenner. What else is there to do? Sit around and instill eye drops all day. My corneas better hurry up and heal.

Running for the last time in those heavy prescription sunglasses, here's me finishing the San Diego Marathon:

If only my coworkers knew...

That the Louis Vuitton Cup is over, and that Luna Rossa (that's right, the Prada Boat) was eliminated in 5 races...


Not quite sure where I was going with that...some of them would probably like to buy the Prada Boat; it does, have a very large Prada logo on it. Everybody would know you had a Prada Boat.

Very disappointed in you BMW Oracle. If you have an unlimited budget, the best boat, and the best crew, you should be able do a little better than losing to the Prada Boat.

If you missed the LV cup, and have not gotten enough sailing, fear not, the America's Cup starts on June 23rd. Live on VS.

I suppose there are worse habits...

Spent the weekend in San Diego for Marathon #4.

I was surprised to learn: I am faster than 95% of female marathon runners...if only I were a 40 year old woman, I could run in Boston.

Sorry, too tired to write anything clever. If you haven't already, read about the previous runs here: #1, #2, #3.

Looks like I beat my previous best time by over 8 minutes. I always forget how difficult it is to finish a marathon in under 4 hours. I am now inspired. Go on, click that last link. Who's with me?

Speaking of elective surgery...

Do you think the American Society of Plastic Surgeons has anything to do with this warning on my box of Kleenex? (Actually, to be correct, it is Nicole's box of Kleenex).

It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Use only as a facial tissue.

I think I better end the post here.