To the best of my knowledge, in the history of American cinema, there has only been one movie with a joke involving Simchat Torah. Can anyone name the film? Hint: The joke is really only funny because: In the history of American cinema, there has only been one movie with a joke involving Simchat Torah.


P.S. The movie was likely written buy Ashkenazi Jews (the script might say Simchas Torah).

35 in the new 25 (II).

That is so not true. Middle age sucks. Hmmmn, my post from a year ago was much funnier than today's. Am I suffering from a decline in mental acuity? Actually, I'm planning on living to 90, so maybe I am not quite middle aged yet....

Speaking of funny, my year-long efforts at a joke have been thwarted. Last January, I told the guy who was keeping track of such things that my birthday was on December 25th. (Hey, Jesus wasn't born on December 25th either, so what could be more christ-like than celebrating my birthday on Christmas?) Unfortunately, I only made it through 4 hours of work before someone leaked my secret. I do not understand how you women can keep track of my birthday. Do you have some secret computer program that reminds you of these things?

Accomplishment for the week:

I finally got the computer to display streaming video on my television. You are probably thinking that this is not much of an accomplishment...I should mention that my computer is over 5 years old, and had no video outputs (except for the monitor, if that counts as a video output). Sure, a lesser man may have used this as an opportunity to purchase a new computer. At any rate, I am now able to watch even more television.

“We were definitely inspired by Danny Elfman and that kind of whimsical quality that he has,” Fuller says.

I am afraid I do not understand why you didn't just get Danny Elfman to score your TV show. In the history of movies/television, has Danny Elfman ever turned down a scoring opportunity?

My Hebrew has gotten worse, but my Italian has gotten better.

Conversation with Larry, the tour mechanic during Kol Nidre services at the synagogue in Siena:

Larry: When is he going to do something I recognize?

Me: Ashamnu is coming up in a couple of pages.

Larry: Yeah, but they won't be doing my tune.

The rabbi actually spoke no Italian during the service; only rapid fire Hebrew. Later, we were told that there are only 50 Jews left in Siena, and only 5 show up regularly for services. Even on Kol Nidre, the busiest night of the year at US synagogues, we tourists were required to make a minyon.

Things were a little brighter in Florence, with their 800 Jews (and absolutely fabulous synagogue). The day school was apparently guarded by IDF soldiers. I wanted to talk to one of them, but they kept disappearing.

Only 150 Euro for Alitalia (or was it Delta by then) to leave our bicycle in Atlanta.

The difference between heaven and hell...

IN HEAVEN :

The police are British
The chefs are French
The mechanics are German
The lovers are Italian
and it’s all organized by the Swiss!

IN HELL :

The chefs are British
The mechanics are French
The police are German
The lovers are Swiss
and it’s all organized by the Italians!

I'm from a city. Doesn't make any difference what city; all cities are alike.

Alternative title was: "What have the Romans ever done for us?"



Ruins are cool, and all, but I did not care much for Rome. Too much traffic and too much graffiti.

Florence also had too much traffic and too much graffiti...and too damn much pornography. Here's a picture I like to call: "Nico with giant naked man (with small penis)".

344 pictures, many of them blurry. Here are a few of my favorites:

1) Old woman in Siena. I made her famous (people with better cameras decided to take the same picture after I shot this one). All the buildings in Siena lean up against each other--please notice the support arches crossing the alley at the top of the frame. Our tour guide in Volterra would have called these Etruscan arches, but in Siena they are Roman arches.

2) Rainbow over Ponte Vecchio (Florence). By the time I figured out how to adjust the camera for proper rainbow photography, the sun, the rain, and the rainbow had all disappeared.

3) Under the Tuscan moon, AKA: View from the roof of our hotel (Florence).

4) A short film I have titled: "Bicycling is for suckers". Really, for not that much more than a tandem tour of Italy, you can take a Ferrari tour of Italy.

Forgive me if I don't post again for a couple of weeks...

Rome

I am certain I will be getting in trouble over this...

I have been told that the key to effective management is to have absolutely no sense of humor; the risk of making any sort of joke is that some (or most) of your coworkers (anyone know a word for people you are, sort of, temporarily supervising?) will take everything you say seriously...most likely because they either 1) have no ability to recognize a jest, or 2) are accustomed to very stoic bosses.

P.S. Coworkers (and management): before you get offended by anything I have just written, I was not attempting to insult anyone's lack of a funny bone. The above post was meant as an explanation to the Mrs. about why I will likely never be running a large (or even small) company.
____________________________________________________________________
From: Lasko, Michael B
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2007 7:57 AM
To: xxxxxxx, xxxxx
Subject: RE:
My standard spiel starts off with telling them that most drugs are no longer manufactured in the US. I explain that the facilities, manufacturing process, and drugs are all FDA approved/inspected. If they are still concerned (which is everybody who bothered to call in the first place), I let them know that we do keep track of all the lot numbers that go through are pharmacy, so we’ll be able to alert them to any problems that might arise.
After that, my choices are:
1) Recommend they contact their congressman (or FDA) to complain
2) Imply that they are racist
3) Explain the many benefits of Indian produced drugs (such as lower risk of mad cow disease).
_____________________________________________
From: xxxxxxx, xxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2007 7:49 AM
To: Lasko, Michael B
Subject: Hi Lasko
What do you tell pts who have issues with the manuf Aurobindo which is based in India?
xxxxx xxxxxxx, Pharm D.
Rx Solutions
Consultant Pharmacist