If only my coworkers knew...

That the Louis Vuitton Cup is over, and that Luna Rossa (that's right, the Prada Boat) was eliminated in 5 races...


Not quite sure where I was going with that...some of them would probably like to buy the Prada Boat; it does, have a very large Prada logo on it. Everybody would know you had a Prada Boat.

Very disappointed in you BMW Oracle. If you have an unlimited budget, the best boat, and the best crew, you should be able do a little better than losing to the Prada Boat.

If you missed the LV cup, and have not gotten enough sailing, fear not, the America's Cup starts on June 23rd. Live on VS.

I suppose there are worse habits...

Spent the weekend in San Diego for Marathon #4.

I was surprised to learn: I am faster than 95% of female marathon runners...if only I were a 40 year old woman, I could run in Boston.

Sorry, too tired to write anything clever. If you haven't already, read about the previous runs here: #1, #2, #3.

Looks like I beat my previous best time by over 8 minutes. I always forget how difficult it is to finish a marathon in under 4 hours. I am now inspired. Go on, click that last link. Who's with me?

Speaking of elective surgery...

Do you think the American Society of Plastic Surgeons has anything to do with this warning on my box of Kleenex? (Actually, to be correct, it is Nicole's box of Kleenex).

It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Use only as a facial tissue.

I think I better end the post here.

How come everyone I know is about to have a baby? Or is that "everyone I know is about to have babies"?

Am I the only one who has read this important baby literature?

In 1980 as well as 2000, childless couples were generally happier than those with children. The study didn't explore how children or the absence of them may contribute to the stability of marriages.

Update: After typing this, I headed over to thingnamer.com, only to discover that Tate and Sarah have moved out of the "about to have a baby" category, and into the "just had a baby category". I am too lazy to retitle this post: "How come everybody I know has just had a baby, or is about to have a baby?"

Congratulations to the new parents. Give us a few days notice before you open anything good...

I do not like the new soap in the men's restroom.

I am sure I am not alone, and the thought that other people might share my dislike of the new soap is frightening. You see, according to a study conducted by our clinical department, only 30% of subjects using the men's room wash their hands...and that study was conducted with the old (less greasy) soap. Sadly, this study likely suffered from observational bias. (The subjects are more likely to wash their hands when they know they are being watched). Sadder still, one can only assume that even fewer persons will be washing their hands with the new(less agreeable) soap.

Yes, I plan to continue washing my hands.

Yes, I am at work today.

No, work is not busy today.

So I married a chicken.

My father, the magician, used to have a large library of magic and magic related books. He probably still does have a large library of magic and magic related books, though I have absolutely no time to devote to any additional hobbies, so that point is moot. Back to the topic at hand: I never became a very good magician, mostly because I was more interested in knowing how the tricks (illusions, says Gob) were done, rather than actually being able to do them.

But those magic related books...by the age of 13, I was quite an accomplished juggler, and an aspiring hypnotist. My hypnotizing skills never advanced much; quite possibly because hypnosis is a hoax...or so I had thought, until I discovered that the sleeping Nicole is open to the power of suggestion. I have been able to make her cluck on demand for several months, and she has recently begun work on a chicken symphony. Waking Nicole is not so open to suggestion, and does not believe that sleeping Nicole has such a fondness for clucking. For your listening pleasure, I shall post a recording here...just as soon as the chicken symphony is done.

Gripe of the day...

(Alternate title was: "The ferry came"...but I couldn't decide on the spelling of ferry.)



It now costs $1 to ride the Balboa Island Ferry. If you want to take your bicycle on board, that will run you an extra 25 cents. If you have a tandem bicycle, those sneaky ferry operators will do their best to charge you for two bicycles.

Did I mention this thing only goes 300 feet? (Maybe that's 300 yards?) Either way, for $2.50, I think I'll build my own boat and paddle across. Nico, you with me?

The Sage from South Central...

I made it 34 years living in the celebrity capital of the world, without having my picture taken with a celebrity. This blog has ruined me...first Greg Lemond, now Larry Elder. Anyway, hey everybody look at Larry Elder, Nicole, and me. As I told Larry yesterday, he is the person most credited with turning me into a libertarian (Ayn Rand and the IRS also played a part).


The Bob Robert's Society Band came pretty close to my goal of raising $1000 for the American Diabetes Association. If you would like to contribute, you still have another 2 weeks. Go ahead and donate on Nicole's page; she'll get a jersey if she makes it to $500.

Here we are at the finish line. I think I am not really that sweaty. I have been trying out this new sunscreen...it's kind of shiny.


65 miles in just over 5 hours...the 5 hours included stopping at every rest stop (for the worst tasting sports drink in the world), changing a flat tire, and helping a fellow cyclist patch a tire. I reckon cycling 65 miles would be much easier if we didn't take 12 months off between cycling adventures. Back to that flat tire...I am sick of flat tires. Actually, we rarely get flat tires, but my Continental Grand Prix 3000s are wearing out, so I am thinking of putting Armadillos on the tandem. Only problem (aside from slowing us down), the profiles on the Armadillos are a little too high to fit in the case. Does anybody have a good recommendation for a traveling tire? I am sick of replacing the Continentals every thousand miles.

In other news: Guitar class is coming to an end. I have to play a song for the final. Anybody able to ID this song? I'll give you a hint: It is thought to be the first song written about El Niño.

I'm number 1!!!

I did not read the race instructions. No worries.

I assumed the race committee would be using 5 minute starts (instead of the 3 minute starts clearly stated in the race instructions. No worries.

Setting my watch for 5 minute countdowns instead of 3 resulted in a rather late start. No worries. (At least my non-waterproof sailing watch had dried out from windsurfing, and was again functioning).

My boat did not have a sail number (which is supposed to result in disqualification. No worries. (The race committee accepted the blue piece of paper [with a black "1" on it] that we held up as we crossed the start and finish lines).

Okay, I confess: None of the other Shields showed up for the first Beercans. Fortunately, there was one Harbor 20. Sure, a Harbor 20 is a much slower boat, but this boat was captained by mi amigo Lee, world champion Harbor 20 racer.

Speaking of Beercans, I'm breaking in some new crew for summer racing. It seems everybody I know has been invited to race on much larger boats. Hey, 30 feet is more than long enough.

So I scoured my old (beginning sailing) class lists and came up with Sevin and Devrim. They both scored very low on the irritating scale and high on the sailing potential scale. Who could be better to sail with, and isn't that Mickey Mantle's number? They are both computer people, so maybe they have blogs somewhere.

I probably have room for one more person, if anybody else wants to race. Prerequisites: 1)You must be non-irritating.
2)You must have at least a little sailing experience.
Job duties: 1) Alert me to anything I am about to crash into.
2)Immediately after the start of every race, turn to the captain and say: "That was a great start, Michael".