Bicycle Pork!!!!!!!!!!

I take it back, John Campbell. I did not realize you were voting for a bicycle tax deduction.

Believe me, I will be saving those receipts.

In other news, I've been thinking of taking up archery.

I am so dissappointed in you, John Campbell.

The $700 billion figure so often mentioned will not be spent, but actually entirely invested with three different mechanisms to ensure that the taxpayers get all their money back.

First, these "troubled assets" will be purchased at less than the expected net present value of their cash flow. That means taxpayers should make a profit by holding them to maturity.

Second, taxpayers will get warrants to purchase stock in the companies from whom these assets are bought. That is more profit potential if the companies recover.

Third, whoever is president five years from now is required to offer to Congress a proposal to recover from these same companies any net loss incurred by the taxpayers to that point. No investment's return is certain, but this one looks pretty good. It for sure will not cost anything close to $700 billion over time.

Furthermore, you are not bailing out companies when you buy assets from them at 30%-60% of what they paid for the asset. That's a bath, not a bailout.

I'm a little busy today, so let's just start with those last two sentences: If you are buying assets for 30 to 60% of "what they paid for the asset", but the assets are currently worth nothing, that is a bailout. We (the taxpayers) are not buying depressed property that will one day be worth more, we are buying bad debt...the Federal Government does not have the same stomach for collecting debt as does my Uncle Lou.

I'd rather be a cowboy than to stare blank at the walls

I have been spending too much time in web meetings [is that one word?] as of late. Maybe it's because I'm a PC, but I swear there is nothing more boring than watching a hand icon click through eight screens while a voice explains: "3.2 is so much more user friendly than the old version."

Are there people out there that learn this way? I like to doodle during web meetings.

Seriously, I received no training on the old version, if the new version is so much easier to use, I think I can figure it out on my own.

To make today's web meeting feel more like a real meeting, it was held in a conference room; the facilitator's screen was projected on a wall by LCD, while he spoke from somewhere in Kansas. The room was large enough to need two speaker phones, but not large enough to actually allow two speaker phones to be in the same room together. If you have never heard two speaker phones in the same room at the same time...well, there's a pretty good reason for that.

This post looks a little short. Did you know that my people invented that little hand icon?

A romantic vacation for just the two of you...and eight of your closest friends.

The things people would yell: "She's not pedaling...and neither is she, or she, or she, or she..."



Word on the street: This bike is actually a few triplets coupled together.

That's Armageddon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dow down 778, worst point drop ever, after the House rejects the $700 billion bank bailout plan.

Strangely, since I have not looked at my 401k (and I won't be for a long, long time), I haven't really noticed.

May your year be filled with apples and honey.

.ברוך אתה ה' א‑לוהינו מלך העולם, בורא פרי העץ
Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha‑olam, bo're p'ri ha‑etz.
Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe, who creates the fruit of the tree.

יהי רצון מלפניך, ה׳ א‑לוהינו וא‑לוהי אבותינו, שתחדש עלינו שנה טובה ומתוקה.‏
Y'hi ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Eloheinu velohei avoteinu, shet'hadesh aleinu shana tova um'tuka.
May it be Your will, LORD our God and God of our ancestors, that you renew for us a good and sweet year."

New Blogger Toys

None of you have signed up as frequent readers, and I know there are at least three of you.

I am very disappointed in all three of you. Do you have any idea how many hours it takes to come up with clever things to write here every day (or at least every week)? By contrast, I have never made an update to my facebook page (which I do not even remember registering for) and I have four friends.

LBS Blues

Took the tandem into the shop (50 miles from our house) for a tuneup on Friday. I do most work myself, but I had a few issues I could not fix--at least not without buying some expensive tools.

1) Cassette: 3 cogs are worn enough to make the chain skip. I had already bought a replacement (ebay "bargain"). I have a chain whip and a cassette remover, but the biggest wrench I own is an 8" Crescent. I could not get the thing to budge. I would have gone out to buy a long 1" wrench, but since the bike also needed #2 and #3 below...

2) Headset: Steering has been indexy for over a year. I took the headset apart a few months ago and re-greased everything...I saw no evidence of pitting. Things seemed better for a while, but that may have been because I had not tightened it enough. I replaced the bearings/retainers last week, at which point I noticed that the fork crown race had some pits; not having either a fork crown race remover or a replacement fork crown race made this seem like a good job for the shop.

3) Rear wheel: The spokes on one side of the wheel sound a little looser than the other. Both wheels appear to be true at this point. I do have a wheel truing stand, but I need to get some practice on cheaper wheels first. Also: I do not have a tension meter, and I have been asked more than once if I'm tone deaf. This also seemed like a good job for the bike shop.

Estimate on Friday for the tuneup (which included fixing all 3 problems above): $120
Estimated date of completion: Saturday (when I inquired via email); Tuesday (when we actually brought the bike to the store).

Call #1 came on Saturday: "Stoker's bottom bracket needs replacing"...I had forgotten about this; it felt very jerky with the cranks off, but with them on (without the chain), it was not noticeable. "The front is better, but could use replacement, as well". Estimate: $50 each (for Shimano 105). I am almost certain it's going to turn into $80 each.

I'm still waiting for call #2: "You need a new headset". I'm debating between going with another Tange ($40) or upgrading to a Chris King ($120).

So far, I'm up to $220 (which will really be $280 unless they give me a rocking good deal on the bottom brackets). Once again, I am reminded that this is not a sport for the light of wallet.

Twitter? I just don't get it.

I can assure everyone that my mother does not care if I'm eating soup.

Eating soup? Research shows that moms want to know.
Running late to a meeting? Your co–workers might find that useful.
Partying? Your friends may want to join you.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

(Email sent to my coworkers)

As some of you may be aware, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Feel free to talk like a pirate in the breakroom and hallways; however, it is inappropriate to talk like a pirate with our patients.

But just in case any of the patients start speaking Pirate to you (or in case any real pirates call), here's a list of useful Pirate phrases.

I have also found this English-to-Pirate translator (I cannot seem to find a Pirate-to-English translator).