Deep Thoughts by Michael Lasko
Yesterday, in a meeting of forty-something pharmacists (as in the number of pharmacists, not the age of the pharmacists), I was introduced (by my boss??) as the most sarcastic pharmacist. Was that the most sarcastic pharmacist in the room? In the building? In the world?
People call me sarcastic because: 1) they do not understand me and/or 2) they cannot believe anybody could be "that mean" (which is really the same thing as #1).
I have never thought of myself as a particularly sarcastic individual, though I occasionally describe myself as subtly sarcastic...so subtle that nobody notices...or is supposed to notice.
So anyway, last night there was nothing on television after la clase de Espanol, so I attempted to watch Becker. I have never seen an episode of Becker...probably because it makes me sad to see what happened to Ted Danson. The TBS tagline at the beginning was: "Becker, the world's most sarcastic doctor". I made it through about four minutes of this laugh track laden sitcom. I am funny and Becker is not. If Becker is sarcastic, clearly I am not.
From now on, I shall describe myself as ironic...or perhaps subtly ironic. Friends, coworkers, and other acquaintances, it is okay if you do not understand me. You probably do not understand most things ironic.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
I'm not Black like Barry White, I'm white like Frank Black is.
Half a lifetime ago, I used to go to a lot of concerts. I was not particularly picky; concerts were my weekend event, and if the rock of the 80s was playing a band, I probably went to see them perform at least once. Certainly, the list of bands I have seen perform live would be more impressive were I 20 years older...perhaps I would have a cool story about watching as the Who destroyed their instruments for the first time...but alas, I was born too late. I did see quite a few big KROQ bands (like U2, the Cure, and REM) before they started sucking. I know what you're thinking: "New U2 is not that bad." Sure it's not that bad, but then you play some pre-Joshua Tree stuff, and you start thinking: "No, it's not bad, but it's not great either, is it? And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it's actually just shite."
As part of my midlife crisis, I've been dragging Nico to a lot of concerts lately. We were off to the SD for the weekend to catch Frank Black (do not accidently type frankblack.com while searching for Frank Black's website) at the House of Blues. For those of you unfamiliar with Frank Black, he used to be Black Francis, lead singer of the Pixies. The Pixies were this extremely loud, mostly punk (only with more yelling) band that I loved in highschool. Solo, Frank Black has more of a bluesy mellow sound. On Saturday, he played alone with an acoustic guitar (belting out a couple of Pixies songs that were almost unrecognizable) for about a half hour, before being joined by his band. In my old age, I preferred the acoustic sound a little over all of them electric guitars.
Hit up some new restaurants while we were down south, including Cafe 222...owned by some celebrity chef who wears a waffle on her head. I had peanut butter and banana stuffed French toast (yes, we were there for breakfast).
Thingnamers: Did you know there are a bunch of clubs in San Diego with really hip names like JRDN, Jbar, and rox? These sound like the kinds of places that won't let me inside.
Half a lifetime ago, I used to go to a lot of concerts. I was not particularly picky; concerts were my weekend event, and if the rock of the 80s was playing a band, I probably went to see them perform at least once. Certainly, the list of bands I have seen perform live would be more impressive were I 20 years older...perhaps I would have a cool story about watching as the Who destroyed their instruments for the first time...but alas, I was born too late. I did see quite a few big KROQ bands (like U2, the Cure, and REM) before they started sucking. I know what you're thinking: "New U2 is not that bad." Sure it's not that bad, but then you play some pre-Joshua Tree stuff, and you start thinking: "No, it's not bad, but it's not great either, is it? And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it's actually just shite."
As part of my midlife crisis, I've been dragging Nico to a lot of concerts lately. We were off to the SD for the weekend to catch Frank Black (do not accidently type frankblack.com while searching for Frank Black's website) at the House of Blues. For those of you unfamiliar with Frank Black, he used to be Black Francis, lead singer of the Pixies. The Pixies were this extremely loud, mostly punk (only with more yelling) band that I loved in highschool. Solo, Frank Black has more of a bluesy mellow sound. On Saturday, he played alone with an acoustic guitar (belting out a couple of Pixies songs that were almost unrecognizable) for about a half hour, before being joined by his band. In my old age, I preferred the acoustic sound a little over all of them electric guitars.
Hit up some new restaurants while we were down south, including Cafe 222...owned by some celebrity chef who wears a waffle on her head. I had peanut butter and banana stuffed French toast (yes, we were there for breakfast).
Thingnamers: Did you know there are a bunch of clubs in San Diego with really hip names like JRDN, Jbar, and rox? These sound like the kinds of places that won't let me inside.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Sorry for the long absence. I am in the midst of training a dozen pharmacists (minus 1 who is at home, about to deliver triplets). Unfortunately, I am left with little time for blogging at work...and blogging at home feels too much like work.
I should be back to the normal schedule at the end of the month, when the training is done. Until then, here is my Amazon wish list:
I would also like a large bottle of Chopin. Message to Amazon: You cannot call yourself a complete retailer if you don't sell vodka. All my favorite stores sell vodka. Does Beverages and More have wish lists?
I should be back to the normal schedule at the end of the month, when the training is done. Until then, here is my Amazon wish list:
I would also like a large bottle of Chopin. Message to Amazon: You cannot call yourself a complete retailer if you don't sell vodka. All my favorite stores sell vodka. Does Beverages and More have wish lists?
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Strange women in my house this evening. Are they Rainbow freaks? Is this some late night math study session? Do I dare go downstairs to find out?
Earlier this evening in la clase de Español.
Jessica (to the class): Yo soy mas simpatica que Michael.
Michael (to the class): Yo soy mas guapo que Jessica.
Girl from other side of the room (whose name we don't know) on the way to the parking lot: If you keep that up you're going to be sleeping on the couch.
Jessica: He has a wife.
Earlier this evening in la clase de Español.
Jessica (to the class): Yo soy mas simpatica que Michael.
Michael (to the class): Yo soy mas guapo que Jessica.
Girl from other side of the room (whose name we don't know) on the way to the parking lot: If you keep that up you're going to be sleeping on the couch.
Jessica: He has a wife.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
I am allergic to mud.
No really, after that last mud pit, I came up sneezing, and did not stop for two days. Nicole was quite angry. "Quit sneezing at me", she might say. "I'm sneezing with you, not at you", I would reply. I suppose I could have taken any one of the numerous OTC pharmaceuticals out there that would probably be useful in the treatment of mud allergy...but I am really not a big supporter of recreational drug use.
No pictures as of now. The photographer was taking a math test, and did not come to spectate. Ed Feaver, who did not want to wait for 10 minutes at the finish line (for the rest of the team)like he did last year, ran the race alone. He did snap a couple of photos of my team at the finish line...I'll post them if I get them. In the meantime, please view last year's post for pictures of me with all the big boss men.
After last week's marathon, I thought a 10k would be no problem. I had forgotten, of course, that a 10k through boot camp is much more difficult than a regular 10k. I should not have volunteered to teach a sailing class immediately afterward.
No really, after that last mud pit, I came up sneezing, and did not stop for two days. Nicole was quite angry. "Quit sneezing at me", she might say. "I'm sneezing with you, not at you", I would reply. I suppose I could have taken any one of the numerous OTC pharmaceuticals out there that would probably be useful in the treatment of mud allergy...but I am really not a big supporter of recreational drug use.
No pictures as of now. The photographer was taking a math test, and did not come to spectate. Ed Feaver, who did not want to wait for 10 minutes at the finish line (for the rest of the team)like he did last year, ran the race alone. He did snap a couple of photos of my team at the finish line...I'll post them if I get them. In the meantime, please view last year's post for pictures of me with all the big boss men.
After last week's marathon, I thought a 10k would be no problem. I had forgotten, of course, that a 10k through boot camp is much more difficult than a regular 10k. I should not have volunteered to teach a sailing class immediately afterward.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Hey, that's my (emergency repair) bike shop. I never get a claim check either, and I'm always terrified somebody will walk away with my (unlocked) $6000 bicyle. I really need to stop reading this police blotter.
W. Coast Highway, 4500 block: bicycle theft, Oct. 10. The owner of a 50-year-old Larry Biehl custom-built bicycle brought the bicycle to Chicago Bikes to have repairs done and left it with the shop's owner without obtaining a work order or receipt. He returned a few days later and the owner told the victim that he had put the bicycle in front of the shop with other bicycles and it had been stolen. Estimated loss: $1,000.
W. Coast Highway, 4500 block: bicycle theft, Oct. 10. The owner of a 50-year-old Larry Biehl custom-built bicycle brought the bicycle to Chicago Bikes to have repairs done and left it with the shop's owner without obtaining a work order or receipt. He returned a few days later and the owner told the victim that he had put the bicycle in front of the shop with other bicycles and it had been stolen. Estimated loss: $1,000.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The trouble Tate has gotten me into.
Today's post over at stokefire was rather topical. Does J-Sicky fit under "names that don't translate well", or should there be another category: "names that might possibly not transliterate well from another language"? Here's an interesting article from snopes about my former employer.
Tate, do I still owe you $8000? I thought up J-Sickle on my own.
Here is today's retraction:
My apologies to anybody who may have been offended by yesterday’s proposed nickname for our very own Jessica Kwon. As most of you are aware, I speak very little Korean, so hopefully everyone understood that my intent was not to offend anybody.
As an alternative, we were going to go with “J-Sickle” (still a derivation of Jes-sica), but I quickly realized this name may be offensive to residents of the former Soviet Union.
For now, I will be sticking with “ICE” (also a derivation of Jess-ica). The name is ironic, in that Jessica has such a warm personality…and as is not at all icy. Everybody: please try it out today.
A quick response from my new second favorite Korean Pharmacist:
OMG.
J-Sicky does not mean anything.
It’s not the proper pronunciation anyways.
My Korean’s so good I was going to major in it. Haha.
It wasn’t offensive to me.
Today's post over at stokefire was rather topical. Does J-Sicky fit under "names that don't translate well", or should there be another category: "names that might possibly not transliterate well from another language"? Here's an interesting article from snopes about my former employer.
Tate, do I still owe you $8000? I thought up J-Sickle on my own.
Here is today's retraction:
My apologies to anybody who may have been offended by yesterday’s proposed nickname for our very own Jessica Kwon. As most of you are aware, I speak very little Korean, so hopefully everyone understood that my intent was not to offend anybody.
As an alternative, we were going to go with “J-Sickle” (still a derivation of Jes-sica), but I quickly realized this name may be offensive to residents of the former Soviet Union.
For now, I will be sticking with “ICE” (also a derivation of Jess-ica). The name is ironic, in that Jessica has such a warm personality…and as is not at all icy. Everybody: please try it out today.
A quick response from my new second favorite Korean Pharmacist:
OMG.
J-Sicky does not mean anything.
It’s not the proper pronunciation anyways.
My Korean’s so good I was going to major in it. Haha.
It wasn’t offensive to me.
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