Sadly, many of the Too Much Joy links I needed to write this entry have disappeared from the world wide web. So we will make do...and you will just have to believe me about most of it.

Seven or 8 years ago, when I first decided to spring the 9 dollars for a domain name, I had my heart set on drugsaremylife.com; however drugsaremylife.com was already taken (glad to see somebody is still doing something useful with the domain). So I registered the next best thing, borrowed from the title of a little known Too Much Joy song, Take A Lot Of Drugs. Aside from all the revenue I am not making by selling Drugs Are My Life T-Shirts (check your local pharmacy school if you want one), I like takealotofdrugs.com better (anybody want a T-shirt?).

So anyway, there's this really cool story that goes along with the song, and I used to have some real newspaper clippings somewhere. Now all I can find is this reproduction. The brief version of the story goes something like this: A Too Much Joy fan/congressional aide (the band was big in D.C.) played Theme Song at a GOP party the night the republicans took back the house. Something about the song touched Newt Gingrich, and everybody was breaking champagne glasses to the lyric "Smash a glass and cry, Too Much Joy...to create you must destroy..." Unable to convince the members of Too Much Joy that this story was true, the fan had Newt sign a letter thanking the band for their inspirational song, etc. What would a band that had once traveled to Florida to play a set of 2 Live Crew (no way I can check that link at work) songs, for the purpose of getting arrested, do with such a letter? Call the newspapers and local news, and tell them that Newt Gingrich likes a band that is encouraging your kids to "take a lot of drugs, drink a lot of beer, and have a lot of sex..." Newt denied the story, but lead singer Tim Quirk still has his copy of the letter.

Email I received from a co-worker today...Actually, most of the pharmacists in the building received the email:

Subject: BOYCOTT STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No more STARBUCKS!
Next time you feel like getting your latte, know that its contributing to the killings of many innocent civilians....BOYCOTT STARBUCKS UNTIL ISRAEL STOPS CARPET BOMBING LEBANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Israel may say they are only hitting the muslim areas but their recent attack was to a strictly Christian Beach Resort. They are basically demolishing a beautiful city and killing thousands....Stand against violence....the world we live in has becoming appalling...

Lebanese Lobby ::: Lebanon

So where to begin?

If you were reading diligently, you would have noticed that the first link (from the lebanese lobby link) admits that the letter is a "parody", but that all the views expressed are true.

Starbucks hoaxes are, of course, nothing new. Here's one about how the company does not support the war in Iraq. And an interesting one about Starbucks closing all its stores in Israel. Don't get me wrong, as part owner of Diedrich Coffee, I am not opposed to a Starbucks boycott...still, I could do without the anti-Israel crap sent to my work address. I get enough of that from CNN.

What is with all this talk of Zionism?

I used to share an office with a Palestinian guy. Commenting on a water bottle that one our colleagues was drinking out of (it said something like: "Women's Zionism Day"), he said, "I knew she was Jewish, but I had no idea she was a Zionist". Hey, it was 2001, and I'm all for a state of Israel, so I replied, "Dude, we all are". I did not understand then, and I do not understand now what the term means to the Muslim world. Does "Unionist" still carry a negative connotation in the South?

I was planning on a light and lively post about the origin of my site's name. Maybe tomorrow.

This computer thing is going to be big...Com-pu-ter. That was my prediction 3 or 4 years ago. So, I went out and bought one.

Prediction for today: This blog thing is going to be big. Even the Snakewoman has one.

He saves lives, he diffuses bombs, he fill prescriptions...

I was looking forward to writing a blurb about the Florida pharmacist who rescued a woman from certain death this morning. CNN interviewed him this morning, and the story went something like this:

1) Woman comes in with what she says is a bomb strapped to her body; her face is cut, and she claims a man with a knife outside is going to blow her up if she does not return with Lortab in 2 minutes.

2) The brave pharmacist instead calls 9-1-1, and stays with the woman until police arrive. A robot then cuts the bomb from the woman, and our hero pharmacist has saved the day.

As it turns out, the woman later confessed that there was no man with a knife, and she had taped a portable propane tank/pieces of a video game console to her body because she could not afford to pay for the Lortab.

Alas, still no positive pharmacist press. Just another day for the dope police. Meanwhile, do not be afraid of this woman:

The Black Pill???

So this woman calls me to say that we're trying to kill her. Evidently her cimetidine (previously a white tablet) was now black. Actually, said I, that pill is green.

She went on to tell me that when she was young, if you were in the hospital and they gave you a black pill, it was poison. I have never heard this expression before, and my quick internet search only turned up a few vague references:

Italian immigrants to the United States brought with them the tale of the "Black Pill". According to this legend which was believed by many of them, at the end of their lives, if requested, a doctor could give them a black pill which would end their suffering. This legend would seem to be a direct reference to the Belladonna berry which is an integral part of their ethnic history.

My quick memory search tells me that there are no black pills (at least available by prescription). Legions of pharmacists reading my blog: Have any of you ever seen a black pill?

Because we're so good at handling our liquor?



CNN interpreted Mel Gibson's apology as a request to the Jewish community to help him overcome his alcohol addiction.

I'm not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.

Mr. Gibson: You could try drinking less...and maybe keeping your mouth shut when you do choose to imbibe. Also, whatever you, do not insult the masons.

People like crap.

That is the only explanation I can come up with to account for the incredible popularity of chain restaurants. Sure, In-N-Out makes a pretty good cheese burger (as spoken by a struggling vegetarian), though I do remember them being even better when you had to drive a little to find one. Also, the farther you get from SoCal, the worse they are. But In-N-Out is not even a good example. Take Chevy's. Has anybody ever said: "Mmmn, I love Chevy's. Nobody makes better Tex-Mex". (Disclaimer: I have never actually been to Chevy's, so maybe they do make the best Tex-Mex).

I bring all this up because last night the missus, the missus's sister, the missus's sister's roomate, and I went to Romano's Macaroni Grill. The food was a little better than mediocre, and the service was horrible (waiting 45 minutes for the check horrible...it felt like France). Many years ago, Nico and I ate at the original restaurant (in Columbus, OH, if memory serves). That place was quite good...and dare I say, original. It would have almost given me a reason to go back to Columbus...if I were ever in the near vicinity. But in Huntington Beach, it's just another restaurant serving large glasses of cheap wine.

Stokefire.com has earned an official takealotofdrugs.com hyperlink. Please loyal readers, try not overrun the stokefire servers.

Right on topic for this historic occasion: A mirror of the startup page at work this morning. Tate, perhaps you can explain why my company is inflicting this sort of thing upon us. Here's an excerpt from the "branding guide":

Through extensive research, we learned that customers want to do business with a company that has knowledge, that uses its knowledge and experience in innovative ways, and that has a commitment to achieving improved clinical and financial outcomes for its customers. This insight underscores the appropriateness of our brand
position. We measure outcomes and deliver results.

FYI the start page is usually used for really important stuff (like my 15 minutes of fame).

Finally put the bike back together, and did a run to Dana Point and back (40 miles round trip). It's still hot out there, and if we had not had all the heat training in Europe, I am certain we would have stayed home.

Been trying to decide what I miss most about Europe. Here's what I have so far:

1) Raclette...there's a wiki for everything.
2) Fondue..absolutely everything.
3) Cars that don't honk everytime they pass a bicyle.

Can't do anything about #3...aside from arming Nico, so I just bought a raclette grill. I was going to buy a fondue set also, but I cannot decide between electric and some weird gel fuel. Electric seems much easier, but also seems somehow wrong. Anybody have a fondue opinion? First 6 people to respond will be invited over for fondue.

Complaint from a new reader: "I don't think starting off with concentration camps and pharmacies is a good idea if you want to raise that sweet sweet ad revenue from your site. Gonna need something happier than concentration camps and more mass appeal than pharmacies if you want to drive the necessary traffic to your site."

While I can no longer remember why I originally started takealotofdrugs.com, I do not believe it was for the ad revenue. However, I was a starving student at the time...and I see that I still have the "Donate to the boat fund" button over there, so maybe I am mistaken; maybe I am doing this for the ad revenue. Regardless, a bit more traffic would make the countless hours I spend typing this drivel a little more worthwhile.

But how to generate more traffic? I saw on the news that myspace is the most visited site on the web. Unfortunately, I am not a 14 year old girl, and therefore no nothing about myspace. Also, I do much of my blogging at work (yes, I'm stuck at work today), and the company feels the need to block the site.

I believe google is the second most popular site on the web. But google has not cached my site in over a year. So I am boycotting google. Also, I have no idea how I would translate google's success to my own page.

There is only one other thing I can think of that sells, so I will be borrowing a page from bikeforums.net: Tandem Porn!!!!

I was also thinking of adding some stoker porn, but I have a feeling that might be vetoed.

P.S. If anybody else has any constructive criticism, you may want to consider placing it in the comments section (rather than emailing me)...that way it looks like your insightfulness is shaping public policy, or something.

P.P.S. If you have any tandem (or stoker) porn you would like me to post, feel free to send that via email.