The trouble Tate has gotten me into.

Today's post over at stokefire was rather topical. Does J-Sicky fit under "names that don't translate well", or should there be another category: "names that might possibly not transliterate well from another language"? Here's an interesting article from snopes about my former employer.

Tate, do I still owe you $8000? I thought up J-Sickle on my own.

Here is today's retraction:

My apologies to anybody who may have been offended by yesterday’s proposed nickname for our very own Jessica Kwon. As most of you are aware, I speak very little Korean, so hopefully everyone understood that my intent was not to offend anybody.

As an alternative, we were going to go with “J-Sickle” (still a derivation of Jes-sica), but I quickly realized this name may be offensive to residents of the former Soviet Union.



For now, I will be sticking with “ICE” (also a derivation of Jess-ica). The name is ironic, in that Jessica has such a warm personality…and as is not at all icy. Everybody: please try it out today.

A quick response from my new second favorite Korean Pharmacist:

OMG.

J-Sicky does not mean anything.
It’s not the proper pronunciation anyways.
My Korean’s so good I was going to major in it. Haha.
It wasn’t offensive to me.

Why not run a marathon (part II)?

1) Nobody will think it's funny when you ask for the absolute highest bib number...while trying to register two minutes after closing. (2382 was indeed the absolute highest bib number).

2) You could have made $36 teaching sailing.

3) Anybody who tells you that you will be well rested after a week of not running is either wrong or lying; you will be out of shape.

4) The course that is supposed to be on and/or within sight of the ocean 80% of the time will only be in sight of the ocean 20% of the time (unless you are 15 feet tall).

5) So much of the course will be highway on-ramps and overpasses that your knees and/or right calf will be opposed to running past mile 20.

6) You will not feel like accepting the Corona from the guys handing out beer (in front of their house) around mile 21.

7) You will not feel like accepting the Bloody Mary (w/ Grey Goose Vodka) from the Rotary Club around mile 22.

8) Even if your friends, and family, and family bicycle the course ahead of you, it will not feel like a show of support if they are not cheering you on at some point during the race...even when you run by said family and friend's house.

9) All the streets of Long Beach will be shut down, and it will take 2 hours to get home. The car will smell like a locker room; I'm pretty sure it will beNicole.

I guess that's enough complaining. Running 26.2 miles makes me cranky. When I started, I was shooting for 3:30. After 2 miles, I was shooting for 4 hours. After 20 miles, I was shooting for not dying.

Gun Time / Chip Time 4h:28m:55s / 4h:27m:42s

Good enough for 825th place...not bad for a guy with bib #2382.

I stole this picture of Tricia from Nico. Not to worry, she won't be blogging for at least a few months.


And here's me at mile 26.

Uh-oh.

DISTRICT 6 BALBOA PENINSULA
Balboa Boulevard and 24th Street:arrest, Oct. 8. Sean Phillip Childs, 21, of Newport Beach, was arrested on suspicion of riding a bicycle while under the influence.

Why not run a marathon?

The Long Beach Marathon is this weekend, and I was really planning on running it.

Unfortunately:

1) I am nowhere near my planned goal of 3:30...I would guess that I am just under 4 hours (again). That may sound impressive to some of you non-marathon runners, but it's kind of embarrassing when my friends' 60 year old parents are faster than me.

2) It might rain on Sunday; and even if it doesn't, the ground will be wet from Saturday.

3) Nobody is available to teach my sailing class, and unless I win the marathon, I will not be done in time.

4) I suffered a horrible head injury while following ICE (heretofore Snake Woman) out of our Spanish Class yesterday. Ice es antipatica y muy baja. I should have remembered how short she was, when she made it easily under the television that hangs near the door. Being of above average height, I was not so lucky. ICE found my misfortune to be very funny, and allowed me to drive home with a bleeding head wound. I shall never again complain when Nico hits me in the head.

Happy Birthday Newport!

What could be cooler than a Dick Dale concert on the beach? Sadly, after looking at the flier, I see we were at the wrong pier. Maybe next time. How old will Dick Dale be in 2106?

So back at the Newport Pier, Nicole and I tried to take a self portrait in front of the main stage. After about 10 tries each, here is the best we have:

Perhaps it takes a certain level of narcissism, that Nico and I do not possess, to excel at taking self portraits.

Instead of Dick Dale, we stuck around for Sugar Ray.

A fun game I like to play while watching Sugar Ray perform: "Count how many times Mark McGrath says he grew up in Newport Beach". It is possible that this game only works in the OC. At any rate I lost count after eight mentions...the game only lasted about six minutes. Interesting note: at the beginning of the concert, he distictly yelled: "Let me hear you, Long Beach". So I'm wondering: was this a mistake, a joke, or was the stretch of beach we were standing on called "Long Beach"? (The surfers have names for every section of beach in Newport--the Schoolyards, Blackie's, etc. I think the menu at Charlie's Chili has a map with all that local color. Anybody want to go to Charlie's Chili?)

Where is the top of the hill?

(Alternative title was: "Your tax dollars at work")

Actually I thought I had turned 34 a year ago, so turning 34 today is really not that bad. A year ago, I was working in the clinical department of RxSolutions (man, our website is crappy), nobody knew it was my birthday, and my evil, evil boss made me work 12 hours. This year, the charming coworkers in my new department catered a vegetarian lunch...well, a fishatarian lunch...maybe not fishatarian, what's a lunch made up of fish and vegetarian items called? People seem quite troubled if they can't eat meet meat three times a day. Read more about that here.

Quick email excerpts of my own:

Me-The spread is most impressive. Special Kudos to our new Social Director!

Offended Pharmacist-That is not a spread. Its called kashke bademjoon.

Me-Please see definition #8. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/spread
8. to set or prepare (a table), as for a meal.
Oh, and the kashke bademjoon was the best I’ve had.

In tax related news: The National Institute for Health is spending your money to post this song on their website. I cannot figure out why they are spending your money for this purpose. Snake Woman, who supports using your tax dollars in such a frivolous manner, says this sort of thing makes people happy. Did you know Michael Jackson owns the lyrics to this song? The Federal Government is paying a pedophile to make you happy.

I hate buying clothes.

The above sentence is unlikely to be a surprise to anybody who knows me. I tend to follow David Byrne's advice when it comes to picking a wardrobe: "If you wear the same thing everyday, people will remember you better". (David Byrne also said: "In the future, women will have breasts all over their bodies".) Apparently, I also continue to wear clothes long after they have gone out of style. I would not know anything about that, as my replacement timeline usually involves replacing clothes shortly before (and sometimes after) they begin to fall apart.

I hate Macy's. Sadly there are no midrange department stores left, and I cannot afford to shop at Nordstrom, even with my less than frequent clothes buying schedule.

Fortunately, I am better at saving money than anybody I know. Here's me holding $214 worth of savings.


I sent Nicole off to do a half hour of power shopping. She is not as good at saving money.

Spent Saturday afternoon pouring wine for the Boys and Girls Club. Maybe Tricia will be writing more about the event. Ms. Garden Grove made an appearance, but Nico would not take my picture with her. She said something about how people would think it was strange if I asked to have my picture taken with a 17 year old girl. Strange? Hey, I'm not the one walking around in public wearing a crown. Incidentally, Ms. Garden Grove is 21.


Sailing with my Darling Clementine (also known as my very favorite Korean Pharmacist) on Saturday evening. My Darling Clementine bought me dinner, securing her place as my favorite Korean Pharmacist for at least a couple of more years.


After my sailing class on Sunday. I decided to run to Bolsa Chica. I did so well on the way there (10 miles), that I was surprised when I could not make it all the way back. I had to make a collect call for the most grumpy SAG vehicle driver I have ever met. SAG vehicle driver: when you get a collect call from: "Michael at the HB Pier", you don't need to accept the charges. You just need to pick Michael** up at the HB Pier.

SAG driver said she was sick, and I was not feeling so great after a weekend of wine pouring...and running 15 miles...so we did not make it to Kol Nidre services. My mother was not very happy. There is a line in a movie (which might be "Keeping the Faith") about how every synagogue in the United States is built with removable walls, so that the synagogue can be expanded for the high holidays (and the 80% of Jews who go to services two times a year). I do not like being one of those Jews who goes to services twice a year, so my New Year's resolution will be: Attend more services. I will be needing Friday evenings off. Will the boss go for that?

**Tate: I hardly see how you can equate throwing lit cigarettes out of windows with referring to oneself in the third person.

I was planning on never writing about Rupert, the dead swan, ever again...but the local papers seem unable to stop...

Briefly, memorial service will be this Saturday. I'm guessing that if you don't own your own outrigger, you are out of luck. I want a canoe...or maybe a kayak. Really, I want some time to paddle a canoe or kayak around. I guess I do not really need a canoe or a kayak.

Here's a picture of Rupert's replacement; although he is much better looking than Rupert, he will not be making his debut in Newport Harbor any time soon.


In running news: I have 2 and a half weeks until marathon #1, and I am nowhere near my goal time of 210 minutes. Ran a little over 35 miles last week...only up to 7 miles so far this week. Good thing I haven't paid yet.

Sorry for my recent lack of blogging. I have had no time for posting, because I am supposed to be training 10 new pharmacists next month. Prior to starting the training, I have been entrusted with updating a very poorly written training manual. My first task was to trim the 160+ pages down to a hundred or so...sadly, I have ended up back at 140 pages. Most of the new pages are screen shots that I have made with (the only photo editing program available to me at work), Microsoft Paint.



Paint is a rather lousy program, but I have become so adept at using it, that I was able to touch up this picture of Snake Woman and her new boyfriend.

"Jewish, Whatever is a Jewish?"

My father always said this with a hint of a proper British accent, though it's probably funnier with a Southern drawl. Note to gentiles: You are most likely not allowed to say this sort of thing. Please consult woodyallen.com for more information.

So it seems that every Christian I know seems to know several (so called) Messianic Jews. I am perplexed, because this website tells me that there are only 20,000 or 30,000 Messianic Jews worldwide. I am also perplexed because Messianic Jews are supposed to be celebrating the Sabbath on the Sabbath, at least according to this site. So where are these Christians meeting all these Messianic Jews? In church? On Sunday? Wouldn't that just make them Christians? I have only met a few Messianic Jews (usually the crazy uncle at a Sukkot party, or something), and they have all insisted that they are indeed Jewish.

So what makes one Jewish? Are we both a race and a religion? Jewish law says that if your mother is Jewish, then so are you. But you can convert to Judaism...the Bible is full of Jewish converts, from Abraham on down. There are no races (of which I am aware) that you can convert into. Can you convert to Messianic Judaism? Evidently, not unless you are Jewish.

My test has always been: If you have a Christmas tree, you are not Jewish. I probably have some cousins who would disagree with me on this one.

Messianic Jews (or Jews for Jesus as you are more commonly known): I would hazard a guess that a lot of you probably do not have Christmas trees. You are still not Jewish...just as a Christian who follows the teachings of Mohammed is no longer a Christian.