Te Reo Maori Lesson #1

Alternative title: If I bought the place, I would probably tell my mother it's pronounced as a "W".



Just back from New Zealand reconnaissance mission. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's because I have swine flu.

Although smaller in scope than the last trip , there is still too much to write about at once. And I'm sick, jet-lagged, and hungry. So let's start with Whakatane.

Yes indeed, "wh" is pronounced as "f" in Maori. Go ahead, say Whakatane...it's fun. It was raining, so we didn't do much while we were there. The town reminded me of something you'd see in Hawaii...and they have an active (offshore volcano). That's all I know.

For $199 I will help you beat any speeding ticket.

Some of you may remember that I was issued a traffic citation on the tandem a couple of months ago. On moral grounds, I felt obligated to fight this injustice. I had my day in court today.

While waiting for my name to be called, I prepared an elaborate (and likely losing) defense:

1) Your honor, I have not been issued a ticket in the last 19 years of driving.
2) When we are on tandem bicycle, I obey nearly all traffic laws:
a) I never speed (pause for laughter)
b) I stop at red lights
c) I stay to the right (I had actually written down "left" in my notes...still dreaming about New Zealand.)
d) We use hand signals (I was having trouble deciding between "we" and "I" for all of the above.)
3) Occasionally, I check for other cars/bikes and just slow down at stop signs.
4) At the intersection in question: On a (signed) bike route in San Clemente, there was minimal traffic, and no cars approaching the intersection. I slowed down to about 8 MPH, saw that the intersection was clear, and continued through.
5) Something about Bill McCready's proper method. (I was thinking I would blame the stoker for pedaling us through while I tried to stop...)
6) Your honor, I've learned my lesson...I have not run a stop sign since. (This last point has made it impossible to ride with other cyclists--it is impossible to convince people who have not yet been hit with a $202 ticket that running a stop sign on a bicycle is a ticketable offense.)

As luck would have it, the ticketing deputy did not show up. Eight of us (including two other cyclists) had our cases dismissed. (The two other cyclists had been with a group of twenty. They claimed that they were at the front, and would have stopped, but they were getting bumped from behind. All twenty of them were issued citations.)

So after watching two hours of traffic cases, I am confident that I can beat any speeding ticket. Either that, or the defendants were so poor at defending themselves that the cops did not bring their A game. Please note: I said speeding ticket. There seems to be very little defense for any other moving violation (red light, stop sign, littering, marijuana possession).

Highly skilled repair of Sony DSC-T5

Alternative title #1 was: I've heard you can restart a human heart by the same method
Alternative title #2 was: That's 45 more dollars I can go and drink tonight

Yesterday, instead of taking pictures, our little Sony digital camera would show only a very blurry display and the following message: "E:61:10".

I searched all over the internet, and the consensus seemed to be:
1) Send it back to Sony for repair ($100-$150).
2) Drop it (from a height of somewhere between 2 inches and 3 feet).

As with many small electronic devices, the cost of repair was more than the value of the camera, so I chose option 2. Dropping a camera from a height of 2 inches is much more difficult than you might think; you will find yourself attempting to drop the camera gently to avoid breakage.

After about 3 or 4 tries (and a height of 6 inches), the camera is now working again.

And we want them running healthcare?

I Bond Earnings Rate 0.00%, Fixed Rate 0.10%
The earnings rate for Series I Savings Bonds is a combination of a fixed rate, which applies for the life of the bond, and the semiannual inflation rate. The 0.00% earnings rate for I bonds bought from May through October 2009 will apply for their first six months after issue. The earnings rate combines a 0.10% fixed rate of return with the -5.56% annualized rate of inflation as measured by the Consumer Price Index for all Urban Consumers (CPI-U). When the inflation rate is less than zero, a bond's earnings rate is less than its fixed rate (but the earnings rate is never less than zero). The fixed rate applies for the 30-year life of I bonds purchased during this six-month period. The CPI-U decreased from 218.783 to 212.709 from September 2008 through March 2009, a six-month change of -2.78%.

Who the hell is going to buy a savings bond paying 0% interest? And it only earns interest for 30 years...what happens after 30 years?

Favorite line spoken by attending physician whilst I was in pharmacy school:

Med Student: What did infectious disease doctors do before HIV?
Dr. Battiger: We grew cultured.

Spent last night at the symphony for Nico's birthday. In a couple of weeks, I get to go to the opera.

Too much culture for one month. I am glad these places have bars.

Published!!!

Most people do not have the will/desire to carry around a 4 pound camera on a bicycle trip.

The thirty+ tandem teams from our recent trip to New Zealand were invited to upload a dozen photos each (or was it two dozen?) to make a collective photo album. A local artist was then given the task of selecting the best photos (and cropping/finishing them) for inclusion in said album. I have not counted, but I believe 20 of my photos made the final cut.

In case that first link did not work, here's a link to the Santana Website.

Beware the Ides of April…

I am told I have picked up a few new readers, so I feel obligated to write something. I usually tell people that one can tell how busy I am at work by how frequent the posts appear. So, in case the reader had not noticed: I am still busy at work.

Also, there is not much going on that has been worthy of writing.

Some updates:

Yes, that last post was an April Fools joke.

No, the New Zealand thing was not a joke. Okay, the part about the sheep was a joke…I tried shearing a sheep in New Zealand, and did not have much affinity for it. The sheep kept flinching, which made me flinch, which resulted in a very poorly sheared sheep. I would require several years of training to make a living raising sheep.

But we really are considering a move to New Zealand. I will be writing the CAOP in June (they do not “take tests” in Kiwi), which requires a trip to Auckland (or London, or any city in Australia). To prepare for said exam, I have spent the last couple of weeks studying British therapeutics. Surprisingly, most of the book has been a review. (Surprising mostly because I do not remember ever opening a textbook whilst in pharmacy school.) I am waiting on a few more books which are being shipped from the far corners of the earth.

“Why New Zealand?” You ask...The copyrighted text below was borrowed from this book. Mr. Publisher: Please appreciate the free plug I have given your book…or at least send me a warning letter before suing me.

Dear friends,

It is with some sadness that I tender my resignation, effective immediately. After much inner probing, I have decided to accept a position with the American Panascope Corporation, and will soon begin overseeing development/production of a new generation of surgical tools.

I shall miss our building, and all of its inhabitants. I would miss the florescent lights, but I understand my new company has a pretty decent set.

With the time I have spent at Prescription Solutions, I leave here knowing that I can get the job...but can I do the job?

The worst day tandeming...

1) Planned weekend ride down to San Diego a few days too early (when the forecast called for 80 degrees of sunshine).
2) Issued traffic citation for running a stop sign in San Clemente. Yes, I was riding a bicycle, and I got a ticket. I hear it's a $205 fine. (I shouldn't complain that much, as I probably ran 30 stop signs before that one).
3) Had to stop at every stop sign for the remaining 60 miles to San Diego.
4) Developed excruciating pain in knees.
5) Too cold for giant tortoises to come out of their barn.
5) Next day: Horrible wind on the return ride; 10 miles in the rain. Ran over glass; big hole in tire. Had to change tube in the rain. [Having had enough of Amtrak (see numerous other posts), and because the Coaster does not run on Sundays, we decided to ride halfway home (to Oceanside), then catch Metrolink.]
6) Call from work during otherwise uneventful train ride to Santa Ana. In case you are wondering, a tandem fits fabulously on a Metrolink train. Your only potential obstacle might be navigating the bike through the station(s)...this is not a problem in either Oceanside or Santa Ana.
7) Sidewall blowout in Santa Ana; no more tubes. Stoker hopped on bus home; I got bored and kept walking...for 5 miles until stoker reappeared with the car.

On the bright side, we rode pretty close to 150 miles over 2 days, which might be a record for us. Ran into Grant (sans stoker) from New Zealand at the edge of Camp Pendleton...and then Grant bought us breakfast. Thanks Grant! [To clarify, Grant is from Carlsbad, not New Zealand. We just happened to meet him last month in New Zealand. The photo below is from the historical archive--I believe that's a blurry Bill McCready off to the right.]

A brief review of what I can remember of New Zealand:

(I put together a little album that's supposed to go along with this, but the pictures got a little scrambled, I'll try to fix it tomorrow.)

1) We arrived a day early (for the pre-pre tour), spending an extra night in Wanaka.
2) We took a solo ride around a nearby lake (49k) to try things out. I stopped to take pictures of some sheep.
3) For the first full day of the pre-tour, the group rode from Wanaka over the Crown Range ("The highest paved road in New Zealand" turned out to not be entirely true--some of it is not paved). After the impossibly long descent, we stopped to watch some of the braver members of the group bunjee jump; then on to Queenstown for a couple of days. Summer luging atop some mountain above Queenstown preceded dinner atop the same mountain.
4) 29 mile ride to Glenorchy where we went jet boating, hiked, then road in a 4wd bus through Lord of the Rings territory. It started raining while I tried to shear a sheep. There was an optional ride back along the same route, but it was raining so we all opted for the bus (bikes in a Budget truck). This 29 mile ride seemed more difficult than the previous day's climb.
5) Ride from Queenstown to Arrowtown and back. Then we boarded a 737 to Christchurch for the official start of the tour. We were picked up at the airport by Antarctic exploration vehicles which drove us to dinner at the "South Pole"--the hopping off point for most Antarctic research. Weirdest meal I've ever eaten. We had two courses in a room with a penguin tank (the penguins were not out), then got up and moved to another room where the lights would cycle on and off every few minutes (the other half of the group did this in reverse).
6) Biked around the crater in Christchurch. Took a ferry across the harbor (rather than biking all the way around), and got rained on for the first time. (My wife's notes say we had our 3rd flat tire on this ride). Took guided walking tour of Christchurch in the rain. Christchurch is beautiful even in the rain: very green, and flowers all around. Had dinner at St. Germaine with ChiChi and stoker. 5 courses + 2 bottles of wine in an expensive French restaurant came out to around $50 US per person. I began enjoying the strength of the almighty dollar.
7) Left Christchurch by train. The optional 100 mile ride (leaving from Arthur's Pass) was canceled due to inclement weather. We weren't planning on doing it anyway, but it turned out to be all downhill. I would have regretted not riding had it not been pouring rain. We stayed on the train until the end (forgotten the name of the town), watched the rain come down in sheets all through lunch at Speight's Ale House, then rode 30 (mostly dry) miles to our beach front hotel at Punakaiki. Tired of walking, we checked in and walked the half km to the pancake rocks/blowhole (which was not blowing at low tide). Beautiful sunset over the water followed by dinner which included Bill's "wine buffet".
8) If memory serves today was a wet ride from Punakaiki to a small airport up the coast where we caught a chartered airplane (with propellers) to Picton (or thereabouts). Wine tasting via bus on the way from the airport to Picton.
9) Bicycling through wine country today. I sort of believed the locals when we were told we would have a tail wind for the whole day; when Bill said it I knew it could not be true. Ended up with a headwind most of the day. Took a 2 km detour into Havelock, the green lipped muscle capital of the world. Too early for muscles, we just had coffee (also, muscles are scary). Lunch at Allan Scott Vineyard; surprisingly, no wine served with lunch.
10) Planned non-riding day. We chose the kayaking option (hiking and/or ocean cruise were the other choices). Flew out of Picton on chartered plane to Rotorua (North Island) after dinner at hotel.
11) Opted for the long ride--around whatever lake Rotorua is on, then up to the Buried Village for lunch. The ride back to Rotorua included a near single track dirt path up and then down through redwoods.
12) Raining again. All but 7 bikes skipped the ride to Tauranga and took the bus. Stopped at Rainbow Springs National Park, which is about the only place you can see a Kiwi (bird). Next stopped for a nature walk (in the rain) with New Zealand's own Kiwi Dundee; saw some glow worms, which are less impressive than they sound. Bus ride ended at Puka Park Resort (on the Bay of Plenty). Staying in Puka Park is like living in a tree house.
13) Biking around the Bay of Plenty. I'm pretty sure I'll be buying a farm around here. We opted for the long ride yet again, which included only 2 ferry rides (as seen in the video at the beginning of the thread). This was perhaps 60 miles of the most fabulous cycling we have ever done...and the sun even came out for a while.
14) We opted to take the bike apart instead of going for an early morning ride. Long bus ride to Auckland; walked around Auckland for an hour and a half before dinner at the Sky Tower. Late flight out of Auckland got us home before we left.

All in all, a very different trip than what you would expect if you've done European trips with Santana. There was not much biking between hotels, few cute little towns along the way, and pretty much nothing flat. The roads are not the friendliest for tires (I lost track of how many flats we suffered), but the drivers are relatively pleasant (not Europe pleasant, but better than the US). The weather was less than ideal, though not horrible. I would call this trip a once in a lifetime experience, but my stoker says we can move there...