Slow day at work today. As it's too early to send people home early, I'll try to get some staff to take extended (unpaid) lunches. As further proof that there is little upside in trying to be funny, here's the email I sent to the crew. (I'll post replies as they come in).

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Extended Lunch Today?

The successful applicant will:

1) Provide scheduled lunch start/end times
2) Provide proposed (extended) lunch start/end times
3) Use no portion of extended lunch for needlepointing, needlepoint instruction, or the purchase and/or barter of needlepointing works and/or needlepointing supplies.
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#1)
scheduled lunch start/end times: 10:30-11AM
Provide proposed (extended) lunch start/end times: 11:15AM-1:15PM
CHESECAKE FACTORY HERE I COME!!!
P.S. PLEASE DON’T DENY MY REQUEST, YOU WILL BE FURTHERING MY DEPRESSION IF YOU DO.
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#2)
Lasko does not like it if your extended lunch has anything to do with expensive handbags.
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#3)
Ok.
1/ 11:30-12pm
2/ 11:30-2pm
3/ ?? Not domesticated like that.
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#4)
1) 12:30-1pm
2) 12:30- 2
3) Will cross stitch and buy cross stitching suppplies
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#5)
RPh: 11am to 1pm

Me: Please follow directions

RPh: Keep it simple, my friend.
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#6)
my lunch 12:45pm-1:15pm
propose 11:30am-1:30pm
??? ??? ??? !!!!
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#7)
Ditto for me whatever xxx e-mailed! Wahooo. Lunch at Cheesecake. I love extended lunches.
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