You hit like a girl.

So I'm finishing off an exquisite burrito (worth a diversion to the coast if you happen to be driving to/from NoCal), and Nico checks her voicemail, then starts repeating some numbers over and over again. So I start in with the Pinball Number Count...did anybody else know that was the Pointer Sisters? Does anybody else think the Pointer Sisters look pretty good for eighty?

Where was I? Wham!!! Nicole hit me on what must be a very soft spot of my head. Nicole is mean, and I still have a headache 20 hours later. For future interactions with Nicole, I will be wearing a helmet. I was thinking either a Jack Nicholson Football Helmet...

...or a Natalie Portman Rugby helmet.


Takealotofdrugs movie trivia...1/16th to the first person who can:
1) name the two movies the above pictures are from
2) tell me what 1/16th is
3) tell me what movie the 1/16th is from
(Kwon, you should know this but you won't...Nico, you should not know this, but you just might).

Back to my head injury, evidently a sister is in the hospital. I have no more details to share because, 1) I sort of blacked out after the blow to the head, and 2) Nicole was not sharing any details, as she was kind of mad over the whole Pinball Count thing. I see Tricia has survived bungee jumping; no word from Jenny in a month. Tricia, Jenny: If you are reading this, please let us know you are alive and well. Back to work.

Snakewoman: Everything you need to know is right here. You have plenty of time to study and practice before Tuesday. I guess I have to disagree with the author of the referenced page; I prefer wheat bread. I would also like the bread toasted, if it's not too much trouble.

"There's no downside to having a swan..."

I could not have made that quote up...actually I could have: I frequently tell Nico that there is no downside to getting a pelican.


So anyway, if you don't feel like reading that fascinating article about Rupert, there's going to be a memorial service...for a swan. Also, some guy wants to buy a new pair of swans for the harbor. In other news, no memorial service has been announced for the dead Huntington Beach woman. And there was this brilliant quote from City Councilman (and former Mayor) Tod Ridgeway: "I just don't understand what's the hurry to get to a dead body...One, what was the hurry, and two, why didn't they avoid the swan?" Uhhm...I don't know, maybe because you need a coroner to prounounce a body dead, and until that happens it's a person floating in the water???

Only in Newport. I could not make this stuff up.

Don't Kill the Goose...


Evidently, the dead body that Harbor Patrol was trying to rescue when they killed Rupert was a slightly more important story, capturing the front page of the Daily Pilot today.

About story #1. I'll miss Rupert and all, but that swan story is definitely sensationalized. Rupert was never particulary friendly. Sure, he'd swim up to our boat sometimes, but he would let out a very loud hiss if anybody tried to touch him. Also, I had not seen Rupert at Wassall's dock in well over a year...actually, I think he preferred to hang out by Harbor Patrol.

I was going to title this post: "Why stay in college, Why go to nightschool?" Because of the Google ad at the top of my page that currently reads: "Want to be a pharmacist? Earn your degree in your spare time 100% online. Free info available." But then I thought: "These ads are bringing in 60 or 70 cents a month, so I should not make fun of them. So I'll have to save my cool Talking Heads lyric for a future post.

Today's post will instead be called: "How to kill a Sunday."

A lot of people take their cars to the carwash. (Carwashes are great if you want all the grit from the cars in front of you to carve little scratches in your paint.) A lot of people put their kids in daycare. (Daycare is great if you want...I'll let you finish that yourself.) My car, however, has been 100% hand washed at home (with the possible exception of a couple of unrequested washes from the Chrysler dealer during routine maintenance). Washing is quite easy, but a couple of times a year, a car needs the 3 step waxing process (actually 4 steps if you count washing). Usually, it takes me around 3 hours to get through the 3 steps. Yesterday, I decided to make things easier on myself by buying an orbital buffer. Orbital buffers would be the greatest inventions ever if I had an old Volvo...I even bought the smallest diameter buffer I could find (6 inches), but my car proved to be too voluptuous. Also, to actually have a time savings benefit with an orbital buffer, you really need two of them (or else you're changing applicator/removal pads every 2 minutes)...an assistant would also help. Unfortunately, my assistant prefers to drive a dirty car, and certainly did not feel like assisting with the cleaning of mine. Total time spent washing, waxing, and buying an orbital buffer: 4 hours.



After the car care was done, I did an excruciating 10 mile run to the HB pier. Excruciating because:

1) I was tired/sunburnt/dehydrated from 4 hours of car care.
2) The much faster 50 year old man that passed me made me run faster than I can run.
3) I was still tired from Friday's 14 mile effort.

UCI night sailing at sunset. Our sidekick brought along the wind, but made no effort to mingle with the scores of eligible bachelors.

In non-Sunday related news, here is my long overdue mileage update:

Last week (9/3-9/9): 21 miles running (over 2 days)
Week before last (8/27-9-2): 22 miles running (over 2 days)
--Not great totals, but I did get in 180 miles of cross training.

Everywhere I looked there was something to remind me of her.


Any bike ride that starts and ends at sea level has to be flat, right? Actually, due to the curvature of the earth, maybe any ride that starts and ends at sea level has to be entirely downhill.

And with these two theories in mind, we rode the tandem down to San Diego for the weekend.

Being the social people that we are, we invited a couple of single bikes along for the trip. Here is Ben (on an early 1980s Schwinn) managing to stay ahead of Jessica, just before the hill at Torrey Pines.


What would a trip to San Diego be without a visit to the zoo? It was 100 degrees at the zoo. Most of the animals seemed to like the heat.

Here is a council of three wizened giraffes:


I usually tell Nico to look less goofy prior to having her picture taken. I must have forgotten this time.


Hanah (who drove with the SAG vehicle) and her sister.


And finally, Snake Woman was worried about the caption that would accompany this photo. Hey Snake Woman, if you don't want to be called Snake Woman, stop posing with snakes. I was going to go with "Don't do it Big, Giant, Albino Python...don't eat the apple"...but then I thought, let's open it up to the board. Click the "Comments" link and post your caption suggestions for this picture...prize for the winner to be determined.


Nico and I were all alone for the ride back, with Ben and Jessica choosing to return in the SAG vehicle. There was a good 10-12 MPH headwind for the final 70 miles, making the ride home considerably worse than the ride there...probably the most difficult bike ride I have ever undertaken. Maybe the ride up the Volcano was worse...but I was out of shape then. (The 4000 ft elevation sign did not come out very well.)

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For you out of towners, I guess I left off: Newport to San Diego is 90 miles give or take...we'll call it 180 miles for the weekend.

Copyright??? What's a copyright?

Too cheap to buy your own copy of the greatest and most influential novel of our time?

Well now you can save your $6.86 and read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas without even leaving your desk.

And since Dr. Gonzo is dead, you can read this online book without any guilt whatsover.

My father used to have his biography in a book called Who's Who. (Maybe he still does, I was surprised to see that the book is still in print). This book was the kind of thing that your parents read in the days before the internet...I suppose after meeting a potential business partner, you would consult Who's Who, to confirm that the person in question was "somebody". Fortunately, now we have 1-800-Dentist, so you don't have to go to the library to be sure that the guy drilling your teeth did not graduate from a dental school in Guatemala.

I had always guessed that the real purpose of the book was to get people like my father to throw down $70, or whatever it cost to see their names in print.

So yesterday, I got this letter from the Consumers' Research Council of America letting me know that I am one of America's Top Pharmacists. Never heard of the Consumers' Research Council of America? Click on the pharmacy link for a detailed explanation of the profession of pharmacy. Click on the Top Pharmacists Search Engine to see my name. I cannot argue with an organization as prestigious as the Consumers' Research Council of America, but I must wonder, where did they hear of my greatness? And does this have anything to do with the $229 plaque that Nicole will not buy me? Nothing says: "I'm a great pharmacist" like a plaque that says: "I'm a great pharmacist". I could carry it around on job interviews.

Mapquest says I only ran 12 miles, but I assure you it felt like more. I had planned on turning around at the Huntington Beach Pier (about 5 miles, one way), but after 5 miles, I just felt like running. So I ran. Shortly thereafter, I no longer felt like running. So I ran back. Probably not my fastest 12 miles ever, but I am officially in half-marathon shape. Not bad, considering I started training 18 days ago.

A couple hours later, I took the friends and family sailing. Nobody appeared to noticed how impaired I was after having just run 12 miles...at least until I crashed into the slip while attempting to dock. It was a truly gentle crash landing, so maybe nobody noticed even then. From right to left are: my hand (no, I did not take this picture), my mother (in her first takealotofdrugs appearance?), Sailing Nicole, and Jessica's little brother Ben (currently sans blog).

Best conversation in public ever...

So Nicole, Jessica, and I bicycled down to Dana Point this morning...we had planned on doing the Tour De 5 Cities, but somebody locked her keys in her car.

So we're in line at this juice bar/sandwich shop..and the line was long, because the BCI ride had arrived right before us. The conversation went pretty much like this (I did not have a tape recorder running, so this is just my best recollection).

Nico: Michael can't just sit around for 4 hours.
Jessica: See, I'm not the only one that has to always be doing something.
Michael: Yes, but I'm self-sufficient.
Jessica: I had a life before I met you two. (Did I mention Jessica is kind of loud?)
People in line behind us: Laughter.
Jessica: Hi!
Michael: Most certainly blogworthy.
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Since it's the weekend, let me catch up on some unrelated news.

1) I am taking the stokefire challenge and attempting to get a tagline on a t-shirt. Tate is a professional thing namer; here are his entries. I am not a professional; here are mine.

2) I have not done a mileage update in a while.

(For the week)
New Balance miles: 24 (slight improvement over last weeks 23 miles--7 of those on a treadmill)

Total bicycling miles: 100

Seriously considering an Ironman in the spring. I guess that's only a 70.3 (which is half an Ironman), but it's a Kona qualifier. Guess I better learn how to swim.