My name is Michael, and I am a drug addict. Not surprising for a guy with a webpage named takealotofdrugs.com? Mark Helprin understands my addiction; most likely you do not.

I have been clean for the better part of 5 years. Still, given the chance to walk the farms of Colombia, I would feel obligated to at least sample the crops, though I am sure that I could stop after just a small taste...Colombian is good and all, but you can buy it just about anywhere; and even high quality Colombian does not compare to Jamaica Blue. If Jamaica Blue were easily (and cheaply) available in the US, I never would have been on the wagon for so long.

Nico and I are planning a trip to Caribbean. Nico says all inclusive is the only way to do Jamaica. I could do without the all you can eat; I could even do without the all you can drink. All you can sail/all you can windsurf? I am sold. I had not, however, counted on all the Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee you can drink. I can say without a doubt that I will be hooked by the end of the week. I think I'll bring an empty suitcase to pack with coffee to bring home. I am told the street price in Jamaica is only $11/pound...compare that with $57.26 at Diedrich, and I could go into business.

Questions you might want to ask Greg Lemond, should you ever meet him...



What should we call our Tour de Cure Team?

I had not had quite enough to drink to actually ask him this, and since the Thingnamer would not provide me with a name (I think I have run up a $24,000 bill), the best we could come up with was the Bob Robert's Society Band. If you're a cyclist, please consider joining the Bob Robert's Society Band (we might be riding the Napa Tour also). If you are not a cyclist, please donate some money to the American Diabetes Association by click on this link right here.

So anyway, the weirdest question that somebody actually asked was: "What's your lead level?" Though Greg Lemond seemed a little surprised by this question, he talked freely about the dozens of shotgun pellets in his body, about the chelation he might need, and about how he might be insane. He sounded much less insane than most people who call me asking about chelation...more people than you would imgine call me asking about chelation.

Everything you love about Vegas...

Picture a generic (non-themed) Vegas Casino. Take away any glamorous tourists (replace with sleazy locals from the 909; take away the hot cocktail waitresses (replace with sleazy locals from the 909) and their free drinks; take away the dice at the craps table (replace with playing cards numbered Ace through 6); and take away all that cigarette smoke...

Wait a second, Casino Morongo was full of cigarette smoke. I'm not really sure how smoking is possible indoors in our Proud State of California...must have something to do with Tribal Law trumping state statutes. So why the hell are there no dice at the craps table?

Of course, nothing seemed to be bothering my very favorite Korean Pharmacist, a self proclaimed gambling addict, as she hammered away at the black jack tables. After 3 hours, I dragged her away...she was not happy and complained the whole way home. Telling her: "You were up $300, you never would have left with that money had you stayed another 2 hours," did nothing to placate her.

My date shake at Hadley's (next door) was the highlight of my day. A true slice of Americana...the little restaurant in the front is plastered with head shots of the various celebrities that have stopped at the place (it used to be the last sign of civilization before Palm Springs). Most notable: 3 (randomly placed) signed photos of Kevin Nealon: young Kevin Nealon (SNL, or maybe pre-SNL), middle aged Kevin Nealon (not sure what he was doing for the last 20 years), and old Kevin Nealon (Weeds era).

Global warming and the perils of sleeping at sea level...

Saw a preview of Al Gore's movie last night...actually, are they still called previews after the movie has been released? Maybe trailer is more correct.

Anyway, Gore says sea level will be rising by 20 feet...just as soon as those polar ice caps melt. "20 feet? That will make us ocean front," says I. "We'll be under water," says Nicole. I think Nicole is wrong, but then I got to thinking: we just got rid of the loft bed...we now have 8 fewer feet to protect us from the cold Pacific Ocean.


An English teacher read my ad in the Recycler, and liked my description so much that he had to buy the thing. I believe he asked me if I am a writer. Obviously, he is not a takealotofdrugs reader.

LOFT BED QUEEN SIZE SF LOFT BED COMPANY We bought this mattress from the San Francisco Loft Bed Company 5 years ago. Evidently the dot com bust put them out of business...Which means that you can only buy the world's best loft bed used. Originally unfinished pine, my wife and I spent countless hours staining the bed to a dark Bombay Mahogany. The bed comes with a matching shelf (used as a night table). We also stained a pair of Ikea dressers to match (make an offer, if you want them).

The bed is far sturdier than anything you can find elsewhere. It is free standing, but can be mounted to a stud for even more stability.

The mattress (not included) sits on a flat platform (no slats like on an Ikea model), so your mattress choices are limitless. We are currently using a Tempurpedic, though most people just go with a futon mattress.

I had the bed made extra high, so that I can stand under it (I am 5'10"+), but it can be lowered to fit in a room with standard ceilings.

(Re)Assembly is simple. Instructions are included. All you need are a 5/16" wrench (ratchet preferred) and an extra set of hands

So now we're sleeping on the floor...with only a $2000 mattress to protect us from those melting polar ice caps. Read about the search for a new bed over on Nico's blog.

Wow, I'm sounding like some pro-global warming wacko, no? I am not. I want gasoline to be so expensive that everybody starts driving around in blowcarts. I will teach Blowcart Drivers' Ed. Yes, I aware that my views on the environment conflict with the platform of my Libertarian Party. I am also an advocate for meat inspectors...

What killed Anna Nicole?

Bad karma, I'm sure...

But I'm also sure that anybody who works in a building with 90+ pharmacists would start a similar pool.

$1 to enter; money must be on my desk prior to any leaks from a coroner's report appearing anywhere in the media/on the web.

My pick: combination opioid (probably methadone) and amphetamine overdose. I'm not really sure what Trimspa is (and their website is down), but let's throw that into the cocktail also. I wonder what the vegas odds are on a methadone, amphetamine, Trimspa trifecta.

And you say there's never anything good on television...

I had a bunch of cool alternate titles like:

"Narcissism personified" (that's a play on a Dramarama song, that none of you will get)

"Come see the sun in Indiana" (that one is only funny if you can see the breath coming out of my mouth, which is no longer terribly visible on the 10 year old videotape...also, Tate gets mad when I insult the state of Indiana; it's bad for business, or something)

"As you can see, my fifteen minutes were up a long time ago" (more sad than funny)

"Hoosier? Did that guy just call me a Hoosier? What the hell is a Hoosier?"



I just bought this DVD recorder, and I am slowly learning how to use it. The HDMI upconversion has a habit of making people (in non 16x9 formats) look short and fat, though it seems youtube stretches in the other direction to create a thin/natural appearing Michael.

Among the many neat features of the DMR ES-25: 1.3x playback. Skip the commercials, and you can watch an hour of television in about a half hour. Does the fact that I might want to do this say something about me or the sad state of television? At 1.3x normal speed, some movements appear a little jerky. The sound is automatically lowered (by 30%?), so nobody sounds like a chipmunk, but the sped up delivery does make everything sound a little commical...like an old talkie, perhaps.

The reason your grandmother cannot afford her heart medication.

I confess: Last night, I was unable to pass up dinner at Onotria...paid for by Genentech.

There were numerous reasons to attend:

1) Free wine country cuisine
2) An update on the treatment of NSCLC (not exactly my area of expertise), featuring Avastin and Tarceva
3) Something to do on Rainbow Night

I had sworn off big Pharma dinners for the last year, or so. Not for any moral or idealogical reasons, mostly because the lectures are usually boring (and no longer seem to be worth any continuing education). Also, as I remembered last night: no matter how nice the restaurant is, if you are dining with a party of 40, it will taste like the food at your cousin's wedding.

What I had not expected over dinner: Scolding from the oncologist sitting across from me. I think ICE oversold our job a little, causing him to think we're making life and death decisions about his patients. "Someone's got to do it", I replied, smiling. He was a little hard to understand, and after arguing with ICE all day, I really had no fight left in me.

In retrospect, "Someone's got to do it" was not that bad a response. In pretty much every country other than ours, the government 1) sets prices, and 2) decides which drugs they will pay for. I am not suggesting that either is a good idea, but someone has to do it. In this country, we rely on private industry to be the bad guy. Why is this necessary? Because a 30 day supply of Tarceva costs pretty close to $3000. Not bad to extend your life for two months, you say. Maybe not, but you have to take it for 10 months ($30,000) to see that benefit. And that's just Tarceva, I cannot even calculate how much the Avastin would cost for those extra two months.

Anyway, I guess I'll close with a joke. It's not a very funny joke, but it's sort of ironic, and sums up the American health system pretty well.

A famous surgeon presented his patient with a bill. The patient said, “I’m sorry but I cannot pay.”

The doctor then asked, "Can you pay half?” and the patient said, I’m sorry but I cannot pay that either.”

The doctor tried again. “How much can you pay?" ”Nothing" said the patient. The doctor was very upset and exclaimed, “If you couldn’t pay, then why did you choose me, the most renowned surgeon in the country to perform the operation. The patient answered, “ When it comes to my health, money is no object.”

They send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge...

The NY Times article is far more interesting than the actual study.

Immunizations: More Education May Not Mean More Vaccination

Dr. Kronenfeld, a professor of sociology in the School of Social and Family Dynamics at Arizona State University, offered a possible explanation for the difference between the children of college graduates and those of mothers who had not graduated from high school. “There is a controversy among more educated mothers about the safety of certain kinds of immunization,” she said. “That may be part of what is going on here, but we don’t know for sure.”

College girls: if you want your children to die of the mumps instead of having a minuscule (probably non-existent) increased risk of autism, that is okay with me. However, if your children catch the mumps, that makes my (vaccinated) children more likely to catch the mumps. I don't even have children, but I still object.

Some rare events.

There are not too many of us red headed Jews in the world. My father was bothered by this fact, and responded very harshly once to a Messianic "Jew" who told him I looked like a shegitz. It was a week before my bar-mitzvah, and we were at a sukkot party...after typing those last two sentences, I am left with 3 thoughts:

1) I am quite Jewish
2) Yiddish is mighty cool
3) That may very well have been the last time I was in a sukkot

I was thinking about these things when I realized that Don Leff has no web presence...just one of the pitfalls of dying before Al Gore invented the internet.

Back to those rare events; here are some things you might not see anywhere else:

Two red headed Jews climbing up the side of a building. What are we doing up there? Who are those girls in the window? I can no longer remember. A better reason: why are there bars on the windows?


And even more rare...never before seen on the internet:

Two red headed Jews in front of the Dead Sea Scrolls. You will not find too many pictures of anybody in front of the Dead Sea Scrolls, as photography is prohibited. If memory serves, 3 or 4 people took this picture; security confiscated the film from 2 or 3 of them...leaving one surviving picture. Perhaps it's easier to get a picture out of the place with a digital camera...

I thought I'd own the world when I turned 21.


Donald Howard Leff...friend to all who knew him.

Has it only been 14 years? I miss you buddy.