Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Just when I thought I had nothing to write about, somebody asks me what Nicole is doing today. The usual response goes something like: "It's Wednesday...She's either having an affair, or it's Rainbow night." I suppose the two are not mutually exclusive...but I digress. My response, of course, encourages the next question, "What's rainbow."

Unfortunately, I am not entirely sure. Whenever I ask, I am told something about "service" "We're a service organization", or "We do service". Checking out the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls webiste, I see that service is indeed important to them; at least the font is bigger than public speaking, poise, leadership, or fun.

Here's a picture stolen from Tricia's website. I'm pretty sure Nicole has that exact dress, so maybe she's in there somewhere.

Here's a copy of my (email) conversation with the Snakewoman...this is usually about how the Rainbow conversation goes.

Me: So they wear these dresses, and walk around in circles…nicole plays the piano. When somebody gets some memorized speech wrong, Nicole pounds on a couple of keys loudly…it’s what’s the word, I’m looking for? Not quite surreal…unreal?

Snakewoman: Tea up the nose. Too funny! How long has she been a Rainbow Girl? What caused her to join this…club? This is just very strange to me. Fascinating really.

Me: I think her grandmother was a rainbow girl…Nicole was the grand musician for the state of California when she was in high school. I believe most rainbow girls grow out of it after high school (when they become too old to be rainbow girls). Now she’s a past grand musician for the state of California…for some reason, that’s “grandy” for short. As in, “I got my grandy to play at my reception”. Instead, I call her the grand wizard…or sometimes, the grand poobah. But usually, the grand wizard.

Snakewoman: Isn’t the Grand Wizard the big guy in the KKK? I’m sure she appreciates that. Does she have any retirement plans?


Anonymous said...

I feel oppressed. Why are my emails ending up on your blog? This has to have some ethical no-no's attached to it. BTW, stop calling me snakewoman, the picture is no longer on my front page.

Mrs. Nicole Lasko said...

Just for the record, Rainbow and the KKK are not attached. And I'm no longer a Rainbow Girl. I'm an adult now, so I go to help out the girls.

Rainbow is a community service organization for teenage girls between the ages of 11 and 20. Any girl can join; the only requirement is that she be a person of character and believe in a higher power. (There are Rainbow Girls of many religions - Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, etc.) It's kind of a more grown-up version of Girl Scouts.

My Grandmother was not a Rainbow Girl, though my mother and aunt were. And I was Grand Musician in college, not high school. And I do not pound on the keys when someone messes up her speech. (Unless it was my sister. That's different. Then it's funny.) Michael is crazy, and oddly threatened by the Rainbow thing.

Mrs. Nicole Lasko said... is California's site.

And Michael spelled Grandie wrong. Know-it-all.

Michael Lasko said...

Jessica, Como se dice, "Nicole is a great big Rainbow freak", en espanol?

Also: Not to call Nicole a liar, but she's lying about not pounding on the piano keys.

Also, also: To be clear, I am certain that there are Jewish, Buddhist, and Hindu Rainbow girls...but that's a bit like saying there are Jewish, Buddhist, and Hindu NFL stars. Well maybe it's not so much like that...maybe there are 4 Jewish, Buddhist, and Hindu Rainbow girls.

Anonymous said...

No comment. I fear for my safety if I jump into this Rainbow issue.

BTW, do Rainbows teach people how not to lose people on a beach boardwalk? Yes? Michael, next weds you might want to go to one of the meetings. I believe what Rich told me was that you guys started asking eachother "uhmm...where did you see her last...?" I'm a human being too!!

Anonymous said...

Tell Nico to say howdy to Janice for me. She promised!

Anonymous said...

You are a brave man to even attempt to explain this.

She may deny general pounding of piano keys, but curious folk could ask her about the personalized march song selections...

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I'll bite:

He Ānuenue 'ano 'ē nui loa o Nicole.

Michael Lasko said...

Extra points for Tana, unless that isn't Hawaiian for "Nicole is a great big Rainbow freak". Actually, extra points either way, because you have given me the opportunity to write, "Nicole is a great big Rainbow freak" again.