I was going to title this post: "Why stay in college, Why go to nightschool?" Because of the Google ad at the top of my page that currently reads: "Want to be a pharmacist? Earn your degree in your spare time 100% online. Free info available." But then I thought: "These ads are bringing in 60 or 70 cents a month, so I should not make fun of them. So I'll have to save my cool Talking Heads lyric for a future post.

Today's post will instead be called: "How to kill a Sunday."

A lot of people take their cars to the carwash. (Carwashes are great if you want all the grit from the cars in front of you to carve little scratches in your paint.) A lot of people put their kids in daycare. (Daycare is great if you want...I'll let you finish that yourself.) My car, however, has been 100% hand washed at home (with the possible exception of a couple of unrequested washes from the Chrysler dealer during routine maintenance). Washing is quite easy, but a couple of times a year, a car needs the 3 step waxing process (actually 4 steps if you count washing). Usually, it takes me around 3 hours to get through the 3 steps. Yesterday, I decided to make things easier on myself by buying an orbital buffer. Orbital buffers would be the greatest inventions ever if I had an old Volvo...I even bought the smallest diameter buffer I could find (6 inches), but my car proved to be too voluptuous. Also, to actually have a time savings benefit with an orbital buffer, you really need two of them (or else you're changing applicator/removal pads every 2 minutes)...an assistant would also help. Unfortunately, my assistant prefers to drive a dirty car, and certainly did not feel like assisting with the cleaning of mine. Total time spent washing, waxing, and buying an orbital buffer: 4 hours.



After the car care was done, I did an excruciating 10 mile run to the HB pier. Excruciating because:

1) I was tired/sunburnt/dehydrated from 4 hours of car care.
2) The much faster 50 year old man that passed me made me run faster than I can run.
3) I was still tired from Friday's 14 mile effort.

UCI night sailing at sunset. Our sidekick brought along the wind, but made no effort to mingle with the scores of eligible bachelors.

In non-Sunday related news, here is my long overdue mileage update:

Last week (9/3-9/9): 21 miles running (over 2 days)
Week before last (8/27-9-2): 22 miles running (over 2 days)
--Not great totals, but I did get in 180 miles of cross training.

Everywhere I looked there was something to remind me of her.


Any bike ride that starts and ends at sea level has to be flat, right? Actually, due to the curvature of the earth, maybe any ride that starts and ends at sea level has to be entirely downhill.

And with these two theories in mind, we rode the tandem down to San Diego for the weekend.

Being the social people that we are, we invited a couple of single bikes along for the trip. Here is Ben (on an early 1980s Schwinn) managing to stay ahead of Jessica, just before the hill at Torrey Pines.


What would a trip to San Diego be without a visit to the zoo? It was 100 degrees at the zoo. Most of the animals seemed to like the heat.

Here is a council of three wizened giraffes:


I usually tell Nico to look less goofy prior to having her picture taken. I must have forgotten this time.


Hanah (who drove with the SAG vehicle) and her sister.


And finally, Snake Woman was worried about the caption that would accompany this photo. Hey Snake Woman, if you don't want to be called Snake Woman, stop posing with snakes. I was going to go with "Don't do it Big, Giant, Albino Python...don't eat the apple"...but then I thought, let's open it up to the board. Click the "Comments" link and post your caption suggestions for this picture...prize for the winner to be determined.


Nico and I were all alone for the ride back, with Ben and Jessica choosing to return in the SAG vehicle. There was a good 10-12 MPH headwind for the final 70 miles, making the ride home considerably worse than the ride there...probably the most difficult bike ride I have ever undertaken. Maybe the ride up the Volcano was worse...but I was out of shape then. (The 4000 ft elevation sign did not come out very well.)

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For you out of towners, I guess I left off: Newport to San Diego is 90 miles give or take...we'll call it 180 miles for the weekend.

Copyright??? What's a copyright?

Too cheap to buy your own copy of the greatest and most influential novel of our time?

Well now you can save your $6.86 and read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas without even leaving your desk.

And since Dr. Gonzo is dead, you can read this online book without any guilt whatsover.

My father used to have his biography in a book called Who's Who. (Maybe he still does, I was surprised to see that the book is still in print). This book was the kind of thing that your parents read in the days before the internet...I suppose after meeting a potential business partner, you would consult Who's Who, to confirm that the person in question was "somebody". Fortunately, now we have 1-800-Dentist, so you don't have to go to the library to be sure that the guy drilling your teeth did not graduate from a dental school in Guatemala.

I had always guessed that the real purpose of the book was to get people like my father to throw down $70, or whatever it cost to see their names in print.

So yesterday, I got this letter from the Consumers' Research Council of America letting me know that I am one of America's Top Pharmacists. Never heard of the Consumers' Research Council of America? Click on the pharmacy link for a detailed explanation of the profession of pharmacy. Click on the Top Pharmacists Search Engine to see my name. I cannot argue with an organization as prestigious as the Consumers' Research Council of America, but I must wonder, where did they hear of my greatness? And does this have anything to do with the $229 plaque that Nicole will not buy me? Nothing says: "I'm a great pharmacist" like a plaque that says: "I'm a great pharmacist". I could carry it around on job interviews.

Mapquest says I only ran 12 miles, but I assure you it felt like more. I had planned on turning around at the Huntington Beach Pier (about 5 miles, one way), but after 5 miles, I just felt like running. So I ran. Shortly thereafter, I no longer felt like running. So I ran back. Probably not my fastest 12 miles ever, but I am officially in half-marathon shape. Not bad, considering I started training 18 days ago.

A couple hours later, I took the friends and family sailing. Nobody appeared to noticed how impaired I was after having just run 12 miles...at least until I crashed into the slip while attempting to dock. It was a truly gentle crash landing, so maybe nobody noticed even then. From right to left are: my hand (no, I did not take this picture), my mother (in her first takealotofdrugs appearance?), Sailing Nicole, and Jessica's little brother Ben (currently sans blog).

Best conversation in public ever...

So Nicole, Jessica, and I bicycled down to Dana Point this morning...we had planned on doing the Tour De 5 Cities, but somebody locked her keys in her car.

So we're in line at this juice bar/sandwich shop..and the line was long, because the BCI ride had arrived right before us. The conversation went pretty much like this (I did not have a tape recorder running, so this is just my best recollection).

Nico: Michael can't just sit around for 4 hours.
Jessica: See, I'm not the only one that has to always be doing something.
Michael: Yes, but I'm self-sufficient.
Jessica: I had a life before I met you two. (Did I mention Jessica is kind of loud?)
People in line behind us: Laughter.
Jessica: Hi!
Michael: Most certainly blogworthy.
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Since it's the weekend, let me catch up on some unrelated news.

1) I am taking the stokefire challenge and attempting to get a tagline on a t-shirt. Tate is a professional thing namer; here are his entries. I am not a professional; here are mine.

2) I have not done a mileage update in a while.

(For the week)
New Balance miles: 24 (slight improvement over last weeks 23 miles--7 of those on a treadmill)

Total bicycling miles: 100

Seriously considering an Ironman in the spring. I guess that's only a 70.3 (which is half an Ironman), but it's a Kona qualifier. Guess I better learn how to swim.

6 Martinis for the price of 1.

Sorry, I left this witty anecdote off of the previous Bonaventure Post.



I had never had a Grey Goose Martini before, but it seemed like the thing to do while sitting in a revolving bar. Regular martinis were $11.75 (without the souvenir light-up glass), so I was a little afraid that I was ordering a $20 drink. Nicole resisted my instructions to order an appletini, and instead settled on a lemon drop.

Drinks, Take 1:

Waitress brings out a tray with our glasses and two shakers. I wasn't watching very closely, but she somehow managed to knock over both shakers, creating a big mess of ice and expensive vodka. She put the glasses down in front of us and said, "Well, here are your drinks". Nicole and I think this is hysterical.

Drinks, Take 2:

Waitress brings us new (frosty glasses). Pours Nicole's (sugared rim, with a lemon), pours mine...then says, I got these backwards. Nicole and I think this is hysterical.

Drinks, Take 3:

Waitress comes back with new glasses and shakers. The shakers are now labeled (with a lemon on top of one, and an olive on top of the other). "We're pulling for you", I say. Waitress pours drinks correctly, and thanks us..."because most people would be yelling by now".

Yelling? We felt kind of guilty, because she was the one going back to the bartender and explaining what happened. The bar takes an hour and twenty minutes to make one revolution...what could be the harm in waiting a few extra minutes for drinks?

Anyway, she only charged us for the lemon drop. I may never know how much a Grey Goose martini is supposed to cost.

Oh the intransigence!

(or: How you get to be vice-president of a large corporation)

So I'm working on this project for my supervisor; I send him a little note, which ends up getting forwarded to not one, but two vice-presidents. I know what your thinking: "Michael, if that email was half as eloquent as this blog, you have nothing to worry about". And you're probably right...though one of the VPs uses very big words in his email (like the aforementioned intransigence--yes, I did have to look that one up).

At first I thought I would also learn so big words that others would have to look up...but then I decided it would be easier to create some of my own. And it looks like Snakes on a Bike (previously Snakewoman) gets my first entry with: "Rainbow". Hopefully, the context will make people realize I'm not talking about the splitting of white sunlight into it component colors by raindrops.

Entry for today:

paluka
1. (n) The act of aggravating somebody (usually unintentionally) through a careless act.
2. (v) To aggravate somebody (usually unintentionally) through a careless act.

Please post any suggestions for new words in the appropriate comment field. Thank you.

You know there is not much going on in the world when I start off a post with my brand new pair of shoes!!!!

How was I able to afford such a fancy pair of shoes, you ask. Turns out I am not going to be layed off. Instead, we're looking to hire 25 more pharmacists. Pharmacists in (or interested in being) in the Orange County, California area: Would you too like to be able to afford a new pair of shoes of your own? Are you interested in the easiest job in pharmacy? Well send me a resume, and maybe I'll buy you a pair of shoes with the referal bonus. Disclaimer: your coworkers may be moderately irritating.

2 Days in the Valley.

I guess I was downtown for part of the 2 days, but that does not sound as good. In fact, nobody would name a movie: "Part of 2 days in Downtown".

So I was in this wedding yesterday. Nothing better than getting to wear a tuxedo...it's like a bunch of tailors sat around and thought up the most uncomfortable set of garments they could possibly invent. I wish I were a waiter, so that I could wear tuxedos every day. I would have them made out of tweed, so that they would be extra itchy. Anyway, congratulations to my very good friends Dalia and Dan...it's about time.

So living here in the Bubble, we're about an hour away from Los Angeles (unless there's traffic..I hate LA). But I cannot tell you the last time I actually made that drive. Since we had this wedding to go to, we decided to do some touristy stuff: Here's Nico at the La Brea Tar Pits (if you're not a Spanish speaker, that translates to "the Tar Tar Pits").



They've been digging in pit 91 for 40 years, but have only made it 12 feet. They were uncovering a sabertooth skeleton while we watched.



Here's a sign that hung over the pit. Good stuff (Like: "We do not find dinosaurs at Rancho La Brea").



More touristy stuff: The historical Farmers' Market. We had freshly made ice cream, which was just mediocre...and of all things, here's a pharmacy (does anybody else think this looks like a Mexican pharmacy?)



That's about it on our trip to LA...oh, except we stayed at the Bonaventure. Those elevators freak me out.

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In work related news:

Things you can say to a co-worker on her birthday: "You don't look a day over 50."

Things you cannot say to a co-worker on her birthday: "I'd like to wish you at least 8 more happy birthdays."

Well I guess you can say it...but nobody else will think it's funny.